Facing Criticism – Who am I?

Criticism always seems to be unfair. Even constructive criticism my have a barb to it and even though it may be intended for my good there may be a prick as the point is made. Because I have often held positions of leadership over the past 15 years I have often been the target of criticism. I have seen people want to inflict damage and hurt upon others and myself because of their perception about what I should or shouldn't have done or what I did or didn't do. My conclusion - I will never make everyone happy all of the time. And I will make most people unhappy some of the time. It is very important for me to know who I am if I want successfully lead, take the initiative and be a positive influence on my world. For some reason there will be people who will want to criticize even my noblest efforts. Why, I really don't know. I can't understand such a mentality that seeks to destroy and tear down. But they will are a part of my reality. Therefore to face this I need to have a solid sense of my own reality. I need to know who I am. Or in the words of someone else, "know thyself." Otherwise I will wrongly draw my self concept from the criticism that I face.

1. If I know myself I do not immediately need to defend myself against everything that is said against me.
2. If I know myself I can learn to laugh easily at the sillier aspects of the criticism that I face
3. If I know myself i don't have to try to change to suit everyone else's perception of what I should be.

Who am I? I am Chris. I am over 40. Going a bit gray. Father of 4 kids. Husband to April. A bit intense in personality. I have some obsessive traits but I try to control them. A bit useless practically. But someone who cares deeply, tries to be a good friend to others and tries to make a positive contribution to other's lives. Thats me. Welcome.

How to get perspective on your problems

I know that we all have the feeling sometimes that our circumstances are overwhelming. There may be too much happening in your life or there may be unfortunate events or we may just be having a really bad day. All of us face problems, some because of our choices and others because of what's happening around us. Life is often a struggle. This is the universal state of mankind. "suffering is universal." This struggle is often the reason why we call out to God for help or get angry or depressed. Here are a few tips that I try to live by when trying to gain perspective on some of the problems that I face

1. Most problems are not permanent – be very careful about making permanent choices regarding issues that won't last.
2. Most problems are minor in the big scheme of things – What worried me as a teenager does not worry me now.
3. Embrace the problem – the cliche what doesn't destroy me makes me stronger can be true if the problem is dealt with constructively. I try to use difficulties to become a better person in the end. In a recent book that I read about finding wholeness each of the case studies overcame some personal difficulties that brought them into a better place.
4. Get over yourself – My wife has said this at time when I have tried to express my rightness over an issue. I may be right but I need to get over my need to be right. I live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world if I think that things are bad its because I have limited my vision to myself. It isn't all about me and if my problems are overwhelming maybe I just need to broaden my focus.

So life is just a little bit overwhelming for me at the moment. Lots of changes are happening that are beyond my control and I need take a bit of my own advice.

Weighting – the first 2 kilos

Yes I have lost some weight. Not much but more to the point I have tried to institute a lifestyle change. There are two major areas that I have addressed:

I am not on a diet. I still have some fries when I feel like it although I am trying to feel like it less. Chocolate is still there but more occasionally. I am trying to eat more salads, fruits and vegetables. Even with main meals I am trying to up their intake and lower my meat intake.

I am exercising. It is amazing how much better this makes me feel.  More importantly it means that I don’t have to watch as carefully what I eat. Because I don’t need to lose a lot of weight (I think about 7 kilos)  I have a bit of flexibility in this a area. The 8 seconds at a time is a bit tedious. Even though I know that it will help me to lose weight quickly there also has to be a level of enjoyment in it all. I like to exercise and think. Concentrating on pedaling fast for 8 seconds precludes this. Most of the time I try to ensure that my pulse is in the working heart rate zone and I forget about the 8 second sprints. I
am looking forward to getting back out on the road again. But, the beauty of an exercise bike is that I can do it at night when its dark because that’s the time that I often get home. I am also using a rowing machine. This is good too because it is more an overall workout.

So there you have it. Not big changes but a couple of kilos is the result. Two kilos means that I can fit back into clothes a bit more comfortably. It has meant about an inch off my waist measurement. And I feel a little bit better about myself because I have achieved something positive. To me they are all good results so far.

9 reasons why it’s good to work at home

1. You have a daily 1 minute commute.
2. You have more time for other things because of the 1 minute commute
3. You can eat lunch at home and save money
4. You save money on fuel and other transport costs
5. You can take a productive break when you want and do something around the home
6. You are available for the kids
7. You can be more flexible with your hours
8. It’s nice to feel like you are your own boss even if you are still really working for someone else
9. There are less office politics to deal with

Lose weight in 8 seconds – We’ll see?

Yes it’s time. Time to make a few changes in my life. This year has been a year of changes but this could be one of the more important ones that I make. Like many Australians I have slipped into a fairly sedentary lifestyle. I enjoyed a burst of energy during my mid 30′s that lasted for a few years and slowly I have slipped into a lifestyle of less and less activity.
But I realise that I cannot continue this way. I have always enjoyed bike riding so this one is right up my alley.

A REVOLUTION in weight loss is about to hit Sydney after scientists devised a workout that burns three times the amount of fat.

They found their specific brand of interval training prompts the body to click into a metabolic response that allows more fat to be burned under the skin and within the muscles.

Researchers at the University of NSW and the Garvan Institute studied 45 overweight women over 15 weeks, putting them through a 20 minute cycling regime in which they sprinted on a stationary bike for eight seconds followed by 12 seconds of cycling lightly.

“They lost three times more weight as other women who exercised at a continuous, regular pace for 40 minutes,” UNSW Associate Professor Steve Boutcher said.

I intend to lose about 10 kg all up. Theoretically this should take me about 10 weeks but I will give myself 3 whole months. I don’t intend to blog all the time about it but it is an important part of the development of myself as a person.

A crucial figure is my waist measurement. It is 2 inches above what it should be and at my age this becomes increasingly important. So I need to reduce it.

Lets go!

The difference between a blog and a web site – reflections on blogging

After a couple of years of blogging (most of it at another site), I believe that blogging is one of the best things to happen on the web. Remember when we all had a home page, it was everyone’s chance to have their 5 minutes of glory on the newest medium around. The trouble was that these pages were hard to update requiring some technical skills to be able to update regularly.

Now we have lots of blog content management systems that can meet the need of every user. For those who are a slightly tech savvy there is wordpress or a range of other platforms that allow a great total control over the look of their site with an easy to manage dashboard allowing the blogger to post. Then there are the paid hosted systems, typepad stands out in this group and is used by many popular blogs. For example TechCrunch uses typepad. Then there is a plethora of free hosted systems that usually have limited flexibility and are paid for by advertising.

Some of my thoughts on blogging after using a number of these and sharing my thoughts about fatherhood and personal development to the world are:
1. Blogging is about my personal interaction with whatever content matter I choose to write about. That’s what makes is special and unique. I know there are lots of spam blogs out there but they are blogs in name only. There are also a number of professional blogs that exist solely to make money that are really a cross dressing website.
2. Blogging is about the people who are reading your site. With adequate spam protection your blog joins a worldwide conversation of people interacting personally with your content.
3. Blogging is soul enhancing. I find that what I am writing about is also about sharing a part of my spirit with others. I think that writing is essentially about this and that we need to remember that the energy that is dispersed should enhance anyone who comes into contact with it.
4. Blogging is about people. Write for people, talk like a person and respond as a person is the best advice that I can give for building a successful blog.
5. My blog is my gift to others. I know that I may not be the most eloquent of writers but I want to share something of myself with others. The subjects that I write about I care about. I want to see people improve and to have the resources that will enable their self development.

What’s the difference?

Well they look pretty similar but dig in a blog and you will find something special, a person.

Success – attitude that will make it

I think a lot of this is really common sense but sometimes we need to be reminded about the sorts of attitudes that lead to a successful life. At any point on this diagram we can short circuit success.

“No one ever finds life worth living he has to make it worth living.”
Unknown

“Pity is one of the noblest emotions available to human beings; self-pity is possibly the most ignoble . . . . [It] is an incapacity, a crippling emotional disease that severely distorts our perception of reality . . . a narcotic that leaves its addicts wasted and derelict.”
Eugene H. Peterson
Author of Earth and Altar

“The winner’s edge is not in a gifted birth, a high IQ, or in talent. The winner’s edge is all in the attitude, not aptitude. Attitude is the criterion for success.”
Dennis Waitley

source

General Colin Powell’s Rules:

1. It ain’t as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.
2. Get mad, then get over it.
3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your
position falls, your ego goes with it.
4. It can be done!
5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it.
6. Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
7. You can’t make someone else’s choices. You shouldn’t let someone
else make yours.
8. Check small things.
9. Share credit.
10. Remain calm. Be kind.
11. Have a vision. Be demanding.
12. Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers.
13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

The heart of the matter

The Lord said, “I myself will dream a dream within you. Good dreams come from me, you know. My dreams seem impossible, not too practical, not for the cautious man or woman. A little risky sometimes, a trifle brash perhaps. Some of my friends prefer to rest more comfortable in sounder sleep with vision less eyes. But for those who share my dreams I ask a little patience, a little humour, a little courage, and a listening heart – I will do the rest. Then they will risk and ponder at their daring, run and marvel at their speed, build and stand in awe at the beauty of their building. You will meet me often as you work – in your companions who share your risk, in your friends who believe in you enough to lend their own dreams, their own hands, their own hearts in your building: in the people who find your doorway, stay awhile and walk away knowing that they too can find a dream. There will be sun filled days and sometimes it will rain a – little variety-. Both come from me. So, come, be content. It is my dream you dream. My caring you witness. My love you share. And this will be the heart of the matter.” (Author Unknown)

Yesterday we were the part of a new venture in the spirit. Soul Whispers. No web page yet but when it comes I will let you know. We all have a dance and for each of us it will have a unique tempo and rhythm. This was handed out to all of us who were there to encourage Bruce on his journey.

[rockyou 62361806]

Service – Same company different price tag

I recently with a friend made a large purchase of technical equipment at a prominent Australian retailer. We had two staff members collecting the stuff and they could not have been more helpful. They even waited for us at the counter and helped us to carry all the gear to the car. They were chatting and and friendly and we couldn’t really have asked for any better service.

Same company different day. I purchased a single less expensive item. The sales assistant was obviously not that interested in the service that I received. I was given the product and pointed to the direction of the front counter and there was not time for any idle chat.

I am not complaining about either transaction. I am just wondering what a commission based sales structure does to customer service? Does it really motivate or does it in the end devalue?

This is not a blog about customer service but I am always interested in the attitudes that drive us. I could talk all day about some of the ways that people are treated by companies. I am left wondering about this company? It is very successful but has it missed something important?

Or is it just a reflection on society. That is the way we are treated because of the size of our purchase a reflection on the values that are important to each one of us. Or are we going to break out of this?

I would like to think that we can be different.

I think of the responses that I have received from Darren Rowse of ProBlogger fame. Early in my blogging career I wrote a couple of emails to him. I always received a response and it was always polite. I realise that my requests were not really valid but never was I treated in a way that devalued myself.
Darren’s blog is one of the most popular on the blogosphere and yet he took the time to respond to me at ChrisGribble.com. It gives me hope that there are people who are able to live differently to others. I don’t know him personally yet I appreciated the way that he has differentiated himself in this way.

Don’t worry be messy

That’s right its been proven. I doesn’t matter if you are messy. In fact if you are messy you will probably be more creative.

Don’t ask me the references for my evidence but I heard it on very good authority that those impressively neat people with immaculate desks and a file name for everything are not neccessarily more efficient or happier than us messies. Almost certainly from the research it appears they will be less creative.

And guess what? Whether we are tidy or messy we will all spend the same time looking for stuff. About 6 minutes.

See here is my evidence. Messy kid happy face. Have we have just lost the ability to enjoy it as adults?