Chris Gribble

Be yourself - Everyone else is taken (Oscar Wilde)

Where does a poem start?

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“Poetry can break open locked chambers of possibility, restore numbed zones to feeling, recharge desire,” Adrienne Rich wrote in contemplating the cultural power of poetry.

Most poems start with retreat…
It’s when I remove myself from the distractions
that chase my thoughts most days.
When I make time to turn down the noise
and learn to listen instead of thinking. Then
it’s waiting for silence to arrive. Sometimes
it takes a while for ringing in my ears to stop. I think
of the thousand things to do
that belong to my weekly list of tasks. A poem calls
me to lower my voice and hear the voice
of another world that is quieter, gentler and
softer. A poem begins with retreat but
concludes with the opening of my soul
to the words that are closest to my heart.

 

Poems seek out the quiet places…
These are the lonely places that life takes me to.
The dark nights that seek to suck the words
that are waiting to to express my happinesses and heartaches. If
I stop for long enough then the words begin again. They mostly
don’t rhyme, or have a happy ever after. But,
they help discover what lies underneath,
and instead of saying the obvious that everyone can see
they leave space for my imagination to explore
in the company of others.

 

Poetry helps me ask questions….
There are so many whys about each day.
Poems seek out my inner source where
my soul meets reality and ….
of where disappointments start and end. Poems
hold the possibility that a fresh start
is always around the corner. Then
as I hold the question I am able to understand
instead of settling for the easy answers.

Nothing

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Nothing

I stop to take a breath,
A deep inhaling of life,
Grabbing as much air as I can
My experience of the incessant
Cycle of time
is that it ends too soon.

Noisy waves breaking
Interrupting my desire for quiet
Waiting with a world of drawn breaths
Looking for my shaft of light
Pointing to the next step.

Nothing is mine to own,
Life held for a moment
Then abandoned in trust
Hoping that the next breath
Will be sustained for eternity

Another version of Psalm 90

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Trust when easily sold out is friendship’s curse,
The short shadow of betrayal’s lustful gaze,
Offers no shelter for any dear friend,
They will be here today and gone tomorrow,
All the easily made promises are forgotten,
Forever running after an elusive happiness,
Selfishness is clinging to every fading pleasure,
Knowing its fleeting hold will quickly slip away.

My life is too short to waste on regrets,
I won’t shy away from its painful lessons,
I now know what a lie looks like,
All its clever disguises no longer fool me,
Because, my heart longs to learn eternity’s truths,
Knowing the wisdom that experience births,
The beautiful clarity that comes from insight,
A view into the hope that belongs to his beloved.

My heart longs for God’s soft hand,
Touching my shoulder to say I am loved,
Friends forget too easily how to be faithful,
My prayer is for blessing to flow out of brokenness,
The cursed words of failure no longer heard,
I am loving Eternity’s nod of assurance,
Letting me know that I am now on the right track,
Each step forward is the taken confidently,
Taking me closer and closer to my safe place,
Courage is my daily choice to try again.

To love abundantly, forgive wisely,
Trust Eternity’s truth,
Feel the ground under my feet,
And, embrace all of this gift that belongs to me.

Hope begins with a broken promise

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Hope begins with a broken promise,
The ground that I thought I knew,
No longer holds the same opportunity,
Everything moves,
Every promise is shifting sands….

Sadness begins with my deepest loving,
The heart that belongs with mine,
Broken open by jagged words,
Everything breaks,
Every sadness is bathed in tears….

Trust begins with deep disappointment,
Crushed by the empty words,
The more that’s said less is believed,
Everything fails,
Every crushed spirit is lost in the noise….

Hope, sadness and trust,
The broken promises,
Where do I belong?
Finding, seeking, longing,
What is lost is heard…
When failure is the kindest word,
Shifting sands become,
The ground that I stand on,
To promise,
To believe,
To heal,
To love,
So everything begins.

Uncertainty and a Safe Space – Lessons from 1000 conversations

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Uncertainty

Dante begins his Commedia with these lines:

In the middle of the road of my life
I awoke in the dark wood
Where the true way was wholly lost….

At the beginning of every decade of my adult life it seems that a significant shift has taken place that has led me into a period of deep uncertainty. A little over a decade ago I launched hopefully out of church ministry and worked for a while as a builder’s labourer. This was a period when there was uncertainty about many things in our life such as when our next paycheck would come, where we would live and what were we meant to do. Gradually the way became clearer and I settled into life in business starting a company and developing that business.

Then in my last major transition I identify closely with what Dante says about the true way being wholly lost. I had lost my way and couldn’t see any way forward. Uncertainty was about the only thing that I knew to be true. This uncertainty permeated every area of my life for example, I had difficulty making a decision about the most trivial of things. I would procrastinate and delay doing anything out of fear of making the wrong decision.

It was one of those periods that I best describe as dark, or as if a fog had come over my life that limited any hope of finding a way forward. I couldn’t see anyway to get myself out of it and its clammy tentacles infiltrated every part of my life. Although in many ways it was unpleasant I also recognise this was the beginning of a new conversation that allowed me to slowly emerge from this debilitating fog into a more hopeful life.

I have discovered in the 1000 conversations that I am not alone in this experience. Uncertainty is brought about by the realisation that our worlds are not quite right and even when things are going well there’s always that painful prick that is the knowledge that any certainty we may feel will not last. There is always the chance that there will be something around the corner that will take away any security that may have been created.

This would suggest that a significant part of life for many people is spent in what Richard Rohr describes as a liminal space. Richard Rohr maintains that this is where God is always leading us. It’s about holding the tension of uncertainty and the unknown and dealing with the fear and tension that comes from being in this place.

Uncertainty is the path to vulnerability. It’s the realisation as one writer expresses it, “that there is a God and you’re not it”. The truest outcome of being able to embrace uncertainty in our ourselves is to become more compassionate towards our vulnerability so we are better equipped to fully enter into community. The uncomfortableness of uncertainty is not our enemy rather it’s the voice that speaks most clearly to our need to begin a conversation with God. The psalmist expresses this again and again in his prayers to God and its essence is seen in Psalm Twenty-One.

My version of Psalm 21

My pilgrim journey starts with hope,
Recognising my heart’s desire,
Taking my first steps to eternity,
Sometimes the uncertain path,
Needs Eternity’s guidance,
With each faltering step,
Complete trust is given,
To the source of all my joy.

The archetypal stories that were used to understand the outcomes of the 1000 conversations focussed on the themes of loneliness and connectedness and the desired outcome of producing a deeper connection with God and a greater sense of community. The stories move from the crisis of loneliness to the integration of community and spiritual practices that lead someone to a deeper relationship with God. From this a more hopeful expression of work is described that gives the courage to continue on.

Brene Brown explains courage in the following quote, “Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line”. In the understandings that were developed from some of my conversations where it is evident that the companioning conversation is one that requires significant courage for the person being companioned. The archetypal story first acknowledges that that some things are not right and this creates uncertainty in the way people go about their work, the way they relate to others and their store of hope that will keep them going. The first place is often that dark place where God can feel far away or some of the old ways of working are no longer producing the same results.

I introduce my version of Psalm 61 with a reference to Finisterre a cape in Spain that was believed in Roman times to be the end of the world, the word “Fisterra” in the local dialect means, “lands end”. The cape sticks out into a wild and rocky coastline and was known as the coast of death. It is known for it’s beautiful beaches that are often overlooked by treacherous cliffs.

It’s the conclusion of the pilgrimage of St James that is historically one of the most important Christian pilgrimages. Legend has it that the remains of St James the apostle’s remains were carried to northern Spain and buried.

The pilgrimage originally started from the pilgrim’s home. At the end of a pilgrimage they traditionally burn their clothes, discard worn boots, build crosses in gratitude and watch the sun set over the dramatic Atlantic coastline. These sacramental acts today are shared by thousands of people each year as they complete their pilgrimage.

I wanted to capture something of the uncertainty that is a part of every pilgrim’s journey by referring to this cape and the mythology of the unknown that lay beyond the horizon viewed from its shore. In the second stanza I refer to the searching that is lies at the heart of the pilgrim’s journey and the discovery of rest with God.

Finally there comes the discovery in uncertainty of a kinder voice. Sometimes what is heard can be the harsh reminder of where we don’t belong. In the final stanza is the understanding of the connection between our desire and our hearts. Allowing uncertainty to meet with a kinder voice that translates into a sure calling that directs the next step forward.

My version of Psalm 61

Finisterre was my end of the road,
My pilgrim path reached the end of this earth,
Its shoreline the beginning of the endless horizon,
Reaching out to unknown dangers,
Uncertainty halted my next step forward.

My searching found a safe harbour,
My uncertainty led me to God’s rest,
Providing everything needed to serve Him,
You will allow me to serve forever,
Every gift given full voice accompanied by love.

Today I commit my path to Love’s guidance,
Seeking out my heart’s deepest desire,
Knowing the gentle strength that is love’s calling,
Leading to a kinder voice that discovers life,
A sure calling that will never be dismayed.

Uncertainty is brought about because of the untrustworthiness that we know is in our own hearts and then sooner or later we experience in our friendships, family and work relationships. This uncertainty is the root of the relational breakdown that is evident in our human interactions.

Everyone has been let down by a broken promise and I wrote the poem Promise below as an exploration of what it meant for me. Continuing on with the pilgrim theme is the unknown and possibility for a broken promise to open into an abyss of despair.

Promise

Spoken and unspoken promises,
Stretched into an endless horizon,
A sure promise is the certainty,
Every promise will be broken,
Each one bears my heartache,
Understood more each day.

Every pilgrim’s journey,
Is only found by walking,
With an unknown destination,
That has the frightening prospect,
When the ground below,
Disappears into an eternal abyss.

Each step must be taken,
Into the uncertain promise,
Of what ground lies beneath,
The honest conversation begins,
With that first promise,
A first uncertain step,
Taken with the hope of knowing,
The trust within the promise,
Where the horizon beckons,
With a welcoming embrace,
The place where I always belong.

A safe place

The universality of uncertainty brings a desire for a safe place. We all try to create these places but sadly too often the wrong materials are chosen and what is yearned for is unfulfilled.

The companioning conversations that we had created a place where someone can safely be themselves and talk freely knowing that whatever they bring to the conversation will be valued. They are no longer in the world of outputs and deadlines; a space is created where the leader knows they are going to be heard.

The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Rumi

Recently I was talking with someone who is battling the horrors that some of these visitors described by Rumi bring to life. Taken straight from Rumi’s poem they were depression, dark thoughts and shame. The effect on this person’s life is best described as violent because they have destroyed numerous relationships in his life.

As we were talking I was constantly searching for the question that would be most helpful for this person. He was stuck in a cycle of endless self doubt about where he truly belonged. It seemed that even the one person with integrity that he knew was still not trusted. This lack of trust was creating tension in the one relationship that I believed had any hope of being life giving for him.

I have been wondering what will be the shape of the next conversation that we have? As I spent time reflecting on this poem by Rumi I considered how gratefulness could be encouraged for this person. One of the symptoms of depression and anxiety is the lack of laughter in the sufferer’s life. I have asked myself if there is a way to help him meet them at the door laughing.

In Belgium is a small village called Geel that has a 700 year history of welcoming people with mental illness. It began with a tragic story of an Irish princess whose father’s madness made him want to marry her. She escaped to what is now Geel. But, her father found her and killed her. She became revered as a saint with a special mission to the mentally ill.

In the 14th century a church was built and then a little later a dormitory was added to accommodate the growing number of pilgrims. Once the numbers got too large for the dormitory local townspeople began accommodating them in their barns and homes. These people were welcomed and loved but also were put to work.

Today the same tradition of care and welcome is practised in the town. Odd behaviours are overlooked as people are able to find their home. They are no longer classified as a medical condition but welcomed into a community.

Geel is a great example of the transforming power of a loving community. It also speaks powerfully to the way that we approach some of the perceived enemies in our life. Rather than rejection and discarding these less desirable parts of ourselves, we can welcome them and know that even their disruption will bring some greater wholeness.

Thomas Merton the Trappist monk words, “In all of us there is a hidden wholeness”, hold a lot of truth for their situation. This wholeness is not born out of our perfections but comes from brokenness. The “pilgrims” who still come to the town of Geel are on a sacred journey where they have undergone a sometimes violent wrenching that has forced them to wander in search of a home. Their search for that home is what is sought by my friend suffering from depression and anxiety; for those who are wounded by work; in every one of us is a wholeness waiting to be found.

I loved the words of David in Psalm 90, where he talks about home. It was the place where he knew that his people fully belonged.

My version of Psalm 90

Home is that place where I fully belong,
Where all my uncertainty is safe,
Eternity is one more heartbeat away,
Each beat brings me closer to home,
Born from Eternity’s love,
This short life a warning of what awaits.

Reality means knowing love’s anger,
Truth leaves no room for excuses,
Our hearts are torn open before God,
Broken hearted we face our loving judge,
Attached to nothing except Eternity’s breath,
Each breath formed from love’s words.

Compassion is a certain knowing,
That belongs to those who have found home,
No more ceaseless wandering,
Looking for temporary trinkets,
Trust is discovered in God’s call to courage,
Life faced with honest connecting,
Calling his love my own.

This morning I am called to belong,
To love’s eternal gaze,
Seeking out my face,
I feel his soft eyes searching me out,
Finding me yearning for his loving look,
My voice longs to speak of being found,
Speaking Eternity’s words given to me.

“Compassion,” wrote historian Karen Armstrong in considering the proper meaning of the Golden Rule, “asks us to look into our own hearts, discover what gives us pain, and then refuse, under any circumstance whatsoever, to inflict that pain on anybody else.” (From Brain Pickings)

Everything is waiting for you
Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone……
Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into
the conversation. The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness and
seen the good in you at last. All the birds
and creatures of the world are unutterably
themselves. Everything is waiting for you.
David Whyte

The creation of a safe place allows the sense of aloneness to be replaced by a meaningful conversation. As David Whyte writes in his poem we make a mistake when we try to navigate the workplace by ourselves. The value of the companion’s contribution to this is highlighted by Rachel Remen who says in My Grandfather’s Blessings, “presence is a much more powerful catalyst for change than analysis”.

My version of Psalm 62

Peace is such a beautiful place to find,
I have discovered true rest with my Father,
He has helped me withstand the personal attacks,
He will confront the lies that were told,
The lies that were intended to destroy me,
They were destruction veiled as truth,
I watched as my enemy took delight,
In seeing me hit rock bottom.

I know now how to take a true rest,
So that those lies no longer affect me,
Truth relies on God – not on my enemy,
I have learned to pour my heart out to God,
So that my ears hear only truth.
The great reversal is coming,
Where God sets it all right,
In the meantime I am learning what is important,
Rich or poor the end result is the same,
We must keep close to God,
Trust him above everything else,
This is the only safe place in this world,
Eternal love expressed with truth is the result.
My version of Psalm 4

I don’t care what other people say about what is important,
Money, success, career,
or anything that can distract,
From opening my life completely to you,
And being completely happy with what you provide.

I will be content,
I will sleep well,
Knowing – That I am safe in your care.

This Psalm’s last stanza has the sentence, “In peace I will lie down and sleep”.

I have always found that when I am anxious my sleep gets disrupted. When I was depressed the one thing that I desired above all else was to sleep through the night. I dreaded going to sleep because I realised that I would wake too soon. I knew that I would wake with the problems of the day ahead tossing around my head. I felt like there was never any rest.

When David says that in peace he will sleep I understand how important this is. To be able to say tonight because God is watching over me that it doesn’t matter what else is going on I will sleep is a statement about the blessing that comes with being right with God. I am no longer alone but held safe where I belong. .

Wounding and a deeper experience of God – Lessons from 1000 conversations

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Prayer for sadness

May you see God’s light on the path ahead
When the road you walk is dark.
May you always hear,
Even in your hour of sorrow,
The gentle singing of the lark.
When times are hard may hardness
Never turn your heart to stone,
May you always remember
when the shadows fall—
You do not walk alone.

The second level in the conversational hierarchy that emerged from my workplace onversations (for further detail on the background of this click here) is the expression of wounding and a desire for a deeper experience of God. Each of these have featured significantly in the more than 1000 conversations contributing to my investigation.

“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

C.S Lewis once said, “pain is God’s megaphone.” These two understandings fitted closely with each other as wounding is the signal to many people that a deeper relationship with God is sought. Without the pain that is a part of living in the midst of brokenness most people would be deaf to God’s calling on their lives.

Wounding

My version of Psalm 127

Work for work’s sake is futile activity,
Slavery to an endless list of tasks,
Only to achieve a bigger paycheck is futile,
They are illusions of success,
Rest is important too,
It teaches us that God provides.

Parker Palmer in his book, A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life, writes about the wounds that are caused by our institutions. For many people their experience of work is dealing with daily disappointments where wounds are inflicted by those who wield power unwisely.

One of the first realisations coming out of my conversationsis that for most people work is about violence. This is the conclusion Studs Terkel reached after interviewing scores of Americans for his book Working: Work is, by its very nature, about violence—to the spirit as well as to the body. It is about ulcers as well as accidents, about shouting matches as well as fistfights, about nervous breakdowns as well as kicking the dog around. It is, above all (or beneath all), about daily humiliations. To survive the day is triumph enough for the walking wounded among the great many of us

In my life’s most recent transformation the most difficult part of moving forward from my wounding is recognising the disappointment that lay behind that transformation. David Whyte says in his book, “Consolations”, courage is in embracing that disappointment. There is no pathway on this earth that doesn’t involve being let down in some way.

Parker Palmer writes about the need for our roles to be more deeply informed by the truth that is in our souls. His experience over many years of conducting Courage and Renewal groups is that leaders who are able to engage deeply with their identity and their organisational disappointments are best equipped to allow healing to be encouraged in their life. Being heard in a conversation is a way of encouraging healing through self reflection so that leaders are able to re-enter the daily conversations that must be had as a part of their role. Spiritual companioning conversations enable this pain to be voiced and heard; then provided a place where soul and role are reconnected.

Institutional betrayal is potent because it represents a profound and fundamental violation of trust in a necessary dependency relationship. In that sense, it is similar to abuse in close relationships such as what is expected in a marriage. This abuse is serious and its consequences are shattering for many people. Workplace statistics regarding the prevalence of bullying and abuse are horrifying and yet these numbers are a glimpse of the daily heartache that work is for many people.

I wrote the following psalm when considering the impact of violence in the workplace. For most people it isn’t a single act of abuse that destroys their soul. More often it’s the daily accumulation of barbs and jabs that end slowly suck the life out of any productive activity. They are the thousand pinpricks that slowly accumulate take away any passion that may be felt for the daily tasks needed to be done. Redemption is found when the gifts that are brought are celebrated by another. But, recovery is a healing process that is required because of the wounding inflicted.

Psalm 204 – When things go wrong

A thousand pinpricks are certain to kill,
Just as certain as a bullet to the head,
Each day can mounts with frustration,
Passion slowly curls up to die,
Lost in the mass of failures,
Notched up in the daily diary account.

Joy’s slow death has it’s own smell,
The putrid stench of contempt’s gaze,
That stares from its lofty throne,
I am lost in what cannot be changed,
Unless something changes in me,
Broken down, deserted for green fields,
That yield a thousand times more.

But Joy’s heart was opened wide,
To begin to restore my broken heart,
What went wrong will be set right,
As hearts combine in loving embrace,
Celebrating the meagre gifts offered,
From which something beautiful unfolds,
Promises from God are always kept,
Setting things right in Creation’s economy.

The struggle is necessary for hope to emerge. In this case it’s the recognition that the change must happen within me if I am able to navigate the work world. The difference is that when hope is found there is the joining of two hearts that are able to celebrate what is true and good in each other. It’s the beginning of a new conversation that begins from Joy’s open heart and searches for what is beautiful in the other person.

As Parker Psalmer relates this personal transformation to the North American seasons, he describes how the change from winter to summer requires the messiness of spring. It’s from this uncertainty that fresh shoots that are the signs of new life are able to emerge.

“In my own life, as winters turn into spring, I find it not only hard to cope with mud but also hard to credit the small harbingers of larger life to come, hard to hope until the outcome is secure. Spring teaches me to look more carefully for the green stems of possibility; for the intuitive hunch that may turn into a larger insight, for the glance or touch that may thaw a frozen relationship, for the stranger’s act of kindness that makes the world seem hospitable again.”
? Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation

What is often missing is a place where an honest conversation can be had about winter’s darkness or the messiness of spring. Too often in many workplaces anything not regarded as positive affirmation of current management practices can quickly label the person as negative and they are put on the outer. The truth that is in the messiness is lost because the wounds are never given an opportunity to heal. Organisations are quick to banish and say that someone doesn’t belong if their wounds disrupt the image that they seek to present.

The foundation of the conversational hierarchy developed is that a deeper space is desired. Once this is acknowledged in a conversation then the pain that comes from people’s wounding is able to become a voice that can understand what it is to have a deeper relationship with God. The opportunity that comes from this second level in the conversational hierarchy is to share with someone their wound and perhaps to shed a little of the gentle light of the soul on their pain. It’s the beginning of consolation, forgiveness and healing for the disappointment that comes with being let down by something that we sought to trust.

A deeper relationship with God is desired.

“There is in the soul a something in which God dwells, and there is in the soul a something in which the soul dwells in God.” Meister Eckhart

This search for a deeper relationship with God is often about reshaping our image of ourselves. As David Whyte puts it, “creation is waiting breathlessly for each of us to take our place…to begin the one journey only you can take…to occupy that one complexion of creation that no other element in creation can occupy.” Becoming found by God enables a person the opportunity to be seen in the most authentic place; in the most vulnerable way.

Creation begins with an imaginative act of God. Human life commenced with a series of divine creative acts followed by a conversation between God and humanity. This conversation has continued throughout history. When God created a person his conversation extended beyond declaring it is good, he started the relationship with a deeply intimate conversation that established a unique identity for each individual person. This conversation continued and developed in the Garden of Eden and beyond.

The tone changed after sin became something that needed to be confronted because of its impact on the conversation between God and humanity. This was the conversation that Adam and Eve didn’t want to have with God and they sought to avoid it. But, we are told that God sought them out and together they discovered the truth and then re established their relationship after trust had been lost.

This could have been the end of the conversation, lost trust could have doomed us to unfulfilled longings that could never be completed. However, this was not the end and humanity continues to have the privilege of having a conversation with God. Forgiveness is love’s purest expression of hope that is given as a gift to us.

In the following poem called, “Imagination” I sought to discover something about the source of that conversation and then the intimacy that I am able to have because I share with my Creator’s imagination.

Imagination

When Love created an eternal soul,
A smile announced his arrival,
Imagination’s beautiful idea fulfilled,
In the surprising gasp for breath,
Introducing life’s first cry.

In the landscape of a million conversations,
One voice creates a new piece of ground,
Creation’s busy activity paused.

Stopping to listen.

A moment dedicated to this life,
Finding a word that belonged to this person,
The word that sought out his special name,
That joined imagination with possibility,
Concluding with life’s final breath,
The smile completed by Love’s embrace.

In this poem I was also exploring the beauty of creation and the discovery of my place in the Creator’s heart. The thought that the creator of this world would stop to listen to me, that he would hear my voice and know me by name inspires me to explore more of this Creator. Imagination is the place where a deeper experience of God begins.

John’s gospel introduction to Christ begins with taking the reader back to the creation’s first creative acts. Today my life witnesses these acts that formed my life and breathes meaning into my creativity. I am a witness to God’s conversation with me, the one that knows my name; the conversation that is forgiving and the conversation that is fulfilled by Love’s embrace.

It begins with the creation story. It includes me in a holy community that says I belong. It introduces the lie that is deceptive and also the truth that can be found in the conversation we are invited to have with the Voice, Breath and Flesh.

John’s introduction to his gospel in my words.

This story originates with a small community who each desired to express their creativity. This community is made up of, a Voice, Breath and Flesh. I am one example of that creative expression. There are many others that are too numerous to mention in this brief introduction. My life is a testimony to the desire of that first group to share their creativity with their creation.

The Voice, the Breath and the Flesh realised that by myself I can only dimly make out a sense of who they are. This image is distorted by a lie. This lie is spread throughout the world and influences everything in the world. The good news is that the lie always has to give way to the Voice, Breath and Flesh.

Creation once was a complete unity then it was divided. How this came about is complex but the Voice continued to talk to his creation. He never stopped speaking the truth even though the lie was believed by most people.

Before I was born the Voice, Breath and Flesh began a plan to make truth absolutely clear. This plan required the Flesh to live with his creation so that everyone could see the lie clearly. His presence focussed the differences between the truth and the lie. It became obvious that people believed either one or the other.

The preparations for the Flesh living with us were carefully planned out. A man called John was specially prepared from birth to ensure that everyone knew who the Flesh in person really was. He knew the entire history of the Voice speaking and how deceiving the lie could be.

John was not afraid to speak the truth. He was very clear about who the Flesh was and the Flesh’s relationship with the Voice and with the Breath. It clearly was a huge commitment by the Voice, Breath and Flesh to separate for this time so that their creation could get a first hand account of the truth.

The gospel brings truth to the lies that are the most used weapon in workplaces. The lies inhibit the creativity that we are intended to share with the Voice, Breath and Flesh. The gospel brings the Flesh’s word to us and the truth that we are intended to hear.

Truth’s daily calling

Truth is the soul’s main labour,
Connecting heart and head and eternity,
Truth lived brings laughter and tears,
Truth understood is shared intimacy,
Embracing with none of love’s regrets,
The longed for hello,
Not the regretful goodbye,
Truth is not clinging to a failed understanding,
Truth is the soul’s daily work,
The creative heart work of the true human.

Ultimately we work not to just make an income, or to fill in an empty space in our day. We work because we are co-creators with God in the unfolding of the world. Our voice in this conversation is what creates a new piece of ground. In the midst of this creation Norvene Vest writes, “Vocation teaches us that each of us has a particular place, a particular set of talents, a particular responsibility that no one else can quite fulfill” (Vest).

In concluding this section I have included a prayer for forgiveness. This has the dual purpose of enabling wounding to begin healing and also it’s the starting point of a relationship with God. It provides the opportunity to step up to the next level of the conversational hierarchy – The creation of a safe place and uncertainty’s expression.

A prayer for forgiveness

Allow me to forgive,
For I am imprisoned by my bitterness.
Allow me to be forgiven,
For I am shamed that I have done another harm.
I earnestly pray that we may all forgive and be forgiven.
May we love and be loving.
May we strive to see the right, to do the right;
And to be generous with others as we would be with ourselves,
This day, this week, this life.
Amen

Another version of Psalm 17

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My heart is wide open to God’s call,
He hears my pleas for help,
Condemnation wants me to lay awake,
Adding up my failures over and over,
I want to hear my God’s approval,
Letting me know everything will be ok.

My sleepless nights are a reminder,
Of what injustice can do to loyalty,
But, I desired God above all else,
When I found the deepest pit to fall in,
And the stones kept getting thrown,
You saw my brokenhearted pain,
And, wrapped me in your safe arms.

I have looked contempt in the eyes,
Seen it’s selfish grasping for self importance,
That has no consideration for anyone else,
Havoc abounds for those in his way,
Eager to inflict the final death blow,
On those who dare to speak truth.

God’s word is about to be unleashed,
It will cut off every lie told,
Contempt will die on his own sword,
His lies will become his worst enemies,
When truth has the final word,
My deepest longing is for God’s truth,
That gives me my words for this day.

Another version of Psalm 16

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I have found God’s safe arms,
In the midst of a thousand hurts,
Caused by the painful pricks,
Of the thousands of cheap trinkets,
That I thought were my pleasure.

Temporary satisfactions quickly fade,
When they are faced by truth.
Joy is found with God’s words,
To his beloved child who seeks loyalty.

He found me in my despair,
And, brought me to my deep gladness,
Then I heard Eternity’s words,
Speaking in Love’s whisper,
Words of enduring endearment,
That become my completed joy.

My life is founded on eternal promise,
Despair’s bottomless death spiral,
Is transformed into a path to possibility,
The way imagined from Creation’s beginning,
Finding its fulfillment in a shared love,
Creator and creation exploring love forever.

Another version of Psalm 15

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My heart cries out to God this morning,
In the uncertainty of what is ahead,
At the day’s beginning I come to you,
I feel safest when I am closest to your heart.

Help me to respond kindly to everyone,
I want to be asking beautiful questions,
Seeking goodness where it is found,
May loyalty be my legacy,
Even when it’s shattered by selfishness,
My honesty lived and never confused by lies,
This is the life that belongs to God,
Eternity and flesh in perfect harmony,
Embracing love together, celebrating unity.

Another version of Psalm 14

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Life without God is the ultimate stupidity,
It is a life lived without any wisdom,
Beginning from a prideful spirit,
Ending with foolish self deceit,
Self destructing is the end result,
Of believing stupidity’s lies.

Compassion searches for the broken hearted,
Love’s touch is for those at their end,
Those who know their need for God,

Wisdom has learned it’s lesson,
Stupidity does the same thing over and over,
Until finally it’s foolishness is rewarded,
The lesson is learned too late,
Their fate is eternal ignorance,
But, belonging to God brings understanding,
Restored to be the centre of His pleasure,
Sharing eternity’s creative cries of wonder.

Imagination

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When Love created an eternal soul,
A smile announced his arrival,
Imagination’s beautiful idea fulfilled,
In the surprising gasp for breath,
Introducing life’s first cry.

In the landscape of a million conversations,
One voice creates a new piece of ground,
Creation’s busy activity paused.

Stopping to listen.

A moment dedicated to this life,
Finding a word that belonged to this person,
The word that sought out his special name,
That joined imagination with possibility,
Concluding with life’s final breath,
The smile completed by Love’s embrace.

Retreat – A reflection

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I just spent a few days with a group of guys retreating together. They were a great group. I wrote this poem as I sought to discover the gift we had over the day or so that we were together.
Retreat

The desert the place where my soul is led,
Seeking the quiet whisper of truth,
In the midst of a thousand temptations,
A multitude of voices crying, “me first”,
With their selfish clamour for my attention,
Retreat demands a space for a quieter voice.

The path to desolations that cry out their pain,
The desert my place to visit their questions,
Surprised by their truthful lament and my sadness,
Reminders of the promised land for his beloved,
And, the beautiful conversation spoken in psalms,
Retreat brings me home to the place most loved.

The truth of the shepherd walks beside me now,
I am found in the story starting in Eternity’s heart,
Trust guides each step into the parched wilderness,
Uncertainty’s unknown path is where it begins,
My soul’s desire is given it’s beautiful surprise,
Retreat is communion with the Holy in me.

Another version of Psalm 13

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I long to know God’s loving gaze,
That comforts my deepest fears,
Eyes that seek out my heart,
And soothes my anxious thoughts.

My day begins with questions for God,
Why do you let my enemy succeed?
Isn’t it time justice was done?
Why don’t you stop his evil acts?

My deepest sadness,
Is calmed by God’s loving words,
My biggest failure,
Is God’s greatest opportunity,
Love’s kindest expression,
Is my daily transformation,
From despair to renewed life,
That brings a song to my heart,
Sung loud and clear for all to hear.

Another Version of Psalm 12

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The bloodlust roar of the crowd surrounds me,
Shouting their deceitful lies,
Thinking that they are influencing truth,
Each lie building on a false foundation,
That seeks to justify their pride,
All of this is self deceit,
Doesn’t influence God one bit,
His heart is for the poor and broken,
The people the crowd jeers.

God’s anger is building against the liar,
His lies cause deep hurt,
The pain that God sees,
Will be the liar’s undoing,
The broken hearted will hear truth,
They will see pride’s back broken,
By God’s loving justice,
Bringing Creation back to order,
The liar’s time in the sun is brief,
Brokenness is restored.

The voice of sadness

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The weather where I live has for the last couple of days been quite gloomy. There was a biting wind and then a foggy drizzle that lasted all day. I also realised that there had been an increasing sense of unease in myself that had grown over the past week or so. The weather brought to light the inner sadness that was becoming the predominate voice I was listening to.

This was not a welcome intrusion into my life. I prefer a conversation that is about my successes. But, I noticed that for no particular reason I was having a conversation with myself about a possible failure that may occur. The words that I was saying to myself were anticipating the worst outcome that is more than likely not going to happen.

Once I would have tried to replace this conversation with positive words. But, this time I decided to approach it differently. I decided to find the gold in my present state and in the words that I was saying to myself. I realised a certain amount of sadness is necessary for the soul to develop. Avoidance of sadness is akin to having a soul lobotomy that will result in my forgetting the goodness that allows me to begin to understand my sadness’ source.

Kierkegaard reflected that it was through his own sadness that he could respond best to the voice of a higher power. I felt the truth of his words as I explored my sense of sadness that has grown over the past week or so. My rumination until today was depleting my store of hope.

Today I decided to attend to my soul. Instead of trying to deny what I was feeling I was able to engage in my exploration of the divine. My day began with a Psalm and concluded with a poem. Starting my day with a time of reflection allowed me to put my day in order. Concluding with a poem indulged an exploration of my inner conversations and the emotions associated with what I was saying to myself.

At the end of all this self reflection nothing was solved. But, I felt connected to my soul and challenged about my conversations. Visting my sadness makes me a little more careful about the words I choose to speak. It shapes my conversation and allows me to be empathetic to the sadnesses of those that I encounter each day.

The Voice of Sadness

In the cold dawn,
I felt the breath of sadness,
Touching my lips,
Beginning a conversation,
With words repeating,
A funeral dirge,
That robs life’s joy,
The misplaced emphasis,
Of what might be,
Instead of what is now.

The day’s gloomy embrace,
Wraps its cold arms around me,
Its voice a frosty reminder,
Of a chilly encounter,
Between my head and heart,
With what is desired,
And where I belong right now.

It’s the conversation least wanted,
But, it’s hurtful words,
Remind my soul,
Of the words I need the most,
Kinder words joining together,
My head and heart,
Kindness’ warm breath,
Replenishing my spirit,
Drawing me to the conversation,
With words chosen just for me.

Another Version of Psalm 11

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Trust reaches out to me from heaven,
Offering me a loving embrace,
When I am surrounded by uncertainty,
I long for Eternity’s touch on my shoulder,
That turns me from facing fear,
To God’s loving gaze.

Search my untrustworthy heart,
Help me to find every sinful thought,
That doesn’t belong to love’s conversation,
I passionately long for your truth,
Your heart meets with mine,
Two hearts that are loyal forever,
Those choosing destruction don’t belong,
Instead I will bask in your loving gaze,
Celebrating your truth lived loyally,
Wrapped in your daily embrace.

Another Version of Psalm 9

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Joy is my first word this morning,
Hostilities surround me,
Yet, my world is calm,
I feel the breath of hate,
From the words of Contempt,
But, my heart is touched by Love.

The hater’s words will soon turn,
When they stare him in the face,
They will be his own destruction,
All his evil plans are meaningless,
Because, he lost sight of truth,
In the midst of a thousand lies,
The delusion of control is destroyed.

God’s mercy reaching out to me,
Touching my deepest pain,
His healing words speak hope,
After despair is transformation,
That comes like new growth,
After the fiercest downpour,
Love’s words fosters new shoots.

Hate’s foolishness will not last,
The word traps he set,
Will become his prison,
Eternity’s plan is always unfolding,
Searching for hope in everyone,
While exposing pride’s false promise,
God’s approval is my desire,
Foolishness always has the same end.

Another Version of Psalm 10

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Loneliness is preparing the way,
To know the worst disappointments,
All around me there are troubles,
The cause of these are the proud,
There is no shame for their betrayal.

My dear enemy thinks he knows better,
God isn’t a consideration for his truth,
Outward trappings of success,
The arrogance of easy victories,
Those won over the crushed in spirit,
Disguise the fragility of his power.

The daily spewing of hate,
The put downs of arrogance,
That seek to crush my spirit,
Has no conscience,
He moves from victim to victim,
Looking to spread contempt,
Thinking he is immune from consequences.

Justice is coming to the proud,
Their weaknesses will bring them down,
My name will be returned to me,
When God shouts it from the heaven,
Pride will cower in terror,
When truth destroys pride’s lies,
God’s comfort is my security,
And, my dear enemy’s nightly terror.

Wisdom’s calling

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The yearning for wisdom,
Discovers the deep ache,
To search for calling,
That belongs to me.

Wisdom lights the path,
Each beautiful question,
Is the step towards,
My gift of inner truth.

Wisdom is emerging,
From the honest conversation,
The one most needed,
As they way behind closes.

Wisdom takes the ordinary,
Transforming it to unique,
A gift for this day,
As the next step is taken.

Another version of Psalm 8

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Today I just want to praise God,
Your heart beat brings life to everything,
Even my briefest thought,
Is the result of God’s genius.

All the earth shouts its daily praise,
A joyous celebration of life’s gift,
It never doubts its creator,
Each part knowing it belongs,
To Eternity’s loving destiny.

My task today is to pay attention,
To loving God’s voice in my life,
Focussing on God’s truth,
To seek what is good,
Knowing Eternity’s safety,
For ever and ever,
Amen.