Be yourself - Everyone else is taken (Oscar Wilde)
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I tell you this
to break your heart,
by which I mean only
that it break open and never close again
to the rest of the world.
—Mary Oliver, Lead
“Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
~ C. S Lewis
“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”
“So many people stay stuck in a horrible or unloving relationship for the sad sake they are afraid of change and afraid of being alone. It takes courage to stand alone; it takes strength. Loveless relationships only hurt people. Move on. Happiness is in our mind and in our soul, and is to be shared with those who deserve us — not ones who disrespect and hurt us. Make good decisions. Make it work or make an exit. Don’t live in misery.”
I love how Parker Palmer expresses his thoughts on discernment. His honesty is refreshing.
I was offered the opportunity to become the president of a small educational institution . So as is the custom in the Quaker community, I called on half a dozen trusted friends to help me discern my vocation by means of a “clearness committee,” a process in which the group refrains from giving you advice but spends three hours asking you honest, open questions to help you discover your own inner truth.
Halfway into the process, someone asked, “What would you like most about being a president?” The simplicity of that question loosed me from my head and lowered me into my heart. “Well, I would not like having to give up my writing and my teaching…. I would not like the politics of the presidency…. I would not like….” Gently but firmly, the person who had posed the question interrupted me: “May I remind you that I asked what you would most like?” I resumed my sullen but honest litany, “I would not like having to give up my summer vacations…. I would not like….” Once again the questioner called me back to the original question. But this time I felt compelled to give the only honest answer I possessed. “Well,” said I, in the smallest voice I possess, “I guess what I’d like most is getting my picture in the paper with the word president under it.”
I was sitting with seasoned Quakers who knew that though my answer was laughable, my mortal soul was clearly at stake! They did not laugh at all but went into a long and serious silence— a silence in which I could only sweat and inwardly groan. Finally my questioner broke the silence with a question that cracked all of us up— and cracked me open: “Parker ,” he said, “can you think of an easier way to get your picture in the paper?” I called the school and withdrew my name.
Based on information from Parker J. Palmer
What does it take
To begin again
To share life
To love deeply
To celebrate joy
To embrace today
To live hopefully?
Perhaps the courage
To let be
What was always intended to be.
Don’t worry about what people think of you. Of course you want to feel accepted and loved, and of course it hurts when people misunderstand us, betray us and reject us. But, so many of our problems begin when we start worrying what others think of us. Just remember that everyone is on a different level of understanding. Try to believe that when someone is hard on you it may have very little to do with you at all. People who are hard on others are usually very hard on themselves, and the pain they inflict on others is a reflection of the pain they inflict on themselves. But even knowing this does not make it easy.