The Conversation I Choose
Words spoken from my heart,
Beginning with my yearnings,
With every soul touching mine,
Each word bears a wounding,
Inflicted by the blows,
Given in daily interactions,
Of billions of aching souls.
Questions brought by confusion,
Found in self interested desire,
Seeking selfish answers,
From the conversation needed,
The broken hearted response,
Sheltered by Grace,
Spoken by love’s source,
Living my own conversation,
That belongs to me,
Is the one that begins today,
With the conversation I choose,
Words that belong in the past,
No longer a part,
Of what lies ahead,
New words begin shaping.
The conversation that I choose.
What is the conversation that I choose?
As I wrote this poem I was trying to explore the question: What is the conversation that I am choosing to have today? It came after a couple of recent events that made me realise that I have started making decisions about the conversation that I am seeking to have with my world. Yes, is not always the word that is used in some of these conversations.
My first experience was when I was challenged about my research proposal. I was confronted about my ideas whether my key term mentor was still an appropriate term to use for what I was seeking to try to implement in my professional and personal life.
When I listened to what I was saying in my proposal I realised that the essence of what I was seeking when I started remained but the term “mentor” was no longer sufficient to capture what I am trying to explore. It was a tough decision to say no to the work that I had done up to that point and then bury my head for a week or so and rewrite some important parts of my research proposal. There were parts of my that wanted to cling to the old questions because they were comfortable and familiar.
Then I was also invited to begin a conversation that was not really going to be a conversation. I could see that the invitation would only serve the other person’s desire to bring their answers to the discussion. Such a conversation again requires a no. This is because the conversation will only be about their distractions that they will seek to impose on me.
When I said this no I felt a level of winsomeness about the potential that I hoped for in the relationship. Like most people I long for those deep conversations where the things that really matter can be explored together. Sadly, this potential may never be realised in this relationship.
James Altucher last book is called: Choose Yourself. It’s written in his quirky style brings many good points about the way in which we need to explore our own creativeness.
I think if I were to write a book it might centre more around choosing my own conversation. I wonder if a good working title might be? “Choose your own conversation – Your guide to healthy relationships”. For now I started with an exploration with this poem, beginning with my yearnings and finishing with the choices about the conversation that I choose to have with myself and my world today.