Leadership the Hard Way, by Dov Frohman. The two things that are crucial to success are firstly, that 50 percent of your time should be unscheduled. And second—and I love that this is coming from an Israeli intelligence guy—that the secret to success is daydreaming.
I find it sad that we live in a world where right and wrong is determined by whether we are happy. By doing this a person is making the ultimate selfish comment. “I am happy when things work out my way” The insinuation is that I must be right if I feel happy. I am unhappy when things are not working out my way. Something must be wrong if this is occurring. I will either blame other people or God for this problem. Either response reflects the immaturity of childishness by demonstrating determining our place in the world on the basis of how the world is responding to me. Personal desire is the benchmark for right and wrong.
It has struck me recently that when dealing with conflict in my workplace that some people have never progressed simple childish responses. And ultimately if the decisions that I make don’t make them happy then I am wrong.
I hope that my children are able to grow beyond this. I don’t want to raise emotional infants. I hope that my children are able to see the world through other people’s eyes as well as their own. So that they don’t live in the illusion that simply because they are happy that everything else is alright.
In most of the popular literature today we are told that aggressiveness is wrong and that assertiveness is the way to go. I think that this is because we equate aggressiveness with the negativity of a bullying attitude.
Of course we know that people get angry. We never really get to see this anger because like many other emtions we are told to bury it. And, because it is rarely expressed and we are out of practice we forget how it should be displayed.
Anger is not always bad. It can be very bad if its done in the wrong way. But, anger can be a good thing. It shows that we care and have a vested interest in what is going on around us. That we have desire to contribute to the discussion or the injustice that we perceive is happening.
Anger is mostly bad when it is about ourselves. In many cases anger because of a personal injustice can quickly become resentment and frustration.
Remember the song, “Don’t worry, Be Happy”. A great little tune, catchy punchline but not always true. We do worry, we aren’t aways happy and shouldn’t always expect to be. Of course I would prefer to be happy than to be angry, but, a part of the key to being happy is knowing how to use anger to be motivated to change the things that are causing my unhappiness.
We are all familiar with the word stress. Stress is when you are worried about getting sacked, or worried about being able to pay the bills, or when you just can’t find enough hourse in the day. Stress is an unavoidable fact of life for all of us it is a part of everyday living. How we use it is a vital part of living successfully.
Our body has a different definition of stress. To your body stress is synonymous with change. Anything that causes change in your life causes stress. Initially the term was borrowed from the science of physics. It was thought that people were in some ways similar to physical objects, such as metals that resist moderate forces but lose their resiliency at some point of greater pressure. However when it comes to people determining the factors that contribute to an individuals stress is far more complex.
Stress is the body’s natural reaction to the events or situations which may confuse, frighten, excite, anger, please or surprise us. It can be pleasant as well as distressful
It doesn’t matter if it is good change, bad change they are both stressful and create a stress reaction. For example when you find your dream house and get ready to move into it, you will experience stress. Go through relationship difficulties and you will experience stress.
Our level of stress is closely related to the amount of control that we feel we have over the changes taking place in our lives. Sometimes it can feel that we are being tossed around at the mercy of the demands of a small child, a needy partner. We are transformed from being a relatively in control independent being to losing control over even some of the most simple decisions that used to be able to make.
How we feel about stress if often a combination of the factors listed above. In a coming series on STRESS, I will outline effective ways that we can manage and even use stress to our advantage. Stress isn’t all bad and if it were missing completely from our lives then we would not always achieve what we set out to do.