One of the more difficult tasks in leadership is to be able to correct or guide while still maintaining the dignity of the other person. Many leaders make the mistake of believing that their leadership is all about winning an argument or having their point of view predominate. However, this is a very short sighted view of leadership and will ultimate limit a person's level of influence in other's lives.
I am just reading about the breakdown of relationships when Hewlett-Packard merged with Compaq. The CEO of HP struggled to win the hearts and minds of the HP employees and faced a battle on several fronts to ensure the success of the merger.
She failed to gain the respect. But, she could have if she had followed some of the following principles.
1. If I have a problem with another person, I will go to him privately. Engaging in a public humiliation of another human being destroys a person's soul. We were recently at a children's birthday party at a popular fast food restaurant and witnessed one of the poorest displays of management that I have ever seen, The person running the party was not being supported by the other staff causing the party to run late. This employee was berated in front of the children and parents.
The result was that I felt very upset. So upset that I wrote to that restaurant. I felt that what was done to that person was soul destroying and needed to be corrected. I hope that manager was dealt with privately so that he would see more clearly the implications of his actions.
2. If someone has a problem with me, and comes to you, send the person to me. (I'll do the same for you.)
3. Be careful about how you interpret me' Id rather do that. Don't try to read things that aren't there in me. I have the right to be able to process my own thoughts without someone putting the implications of their thoughts on me. The reverse is true, I need to be careful how I interpret other people's response to me. Discovering that everything isn't always about me is one of the hardest things to live with but it allows me to be able to hear what you are really saying.
4. If it's confidential, I won't tell. (Unless someone is harming himself or someone else.) I need to be seen as a safe person if people are to give me their trust. This means that they must know that I don't have the need to tell what I know about them. Although someone may choose to disclose information to me it remains their right to disclose and not my right to disclose that to other people.
5. I will not manipulate; I will not be manipulated. I will choose to be honest and live with integrity. This will discourage any person who tries to manipulate me into living in a way that caused me to live with a contradiction within myself. (source unsure of highlighted items)