Chris Gribble

Be yourself - Everyone else is taken (Oscar Wilde)

What are the messages that we send to our children?

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I remember as a young person being picked up by a friend’s mother with a small group of friends to take us to his place. They drove an old ford falcon with a bench seat in the middle. His mother was a fiery woman whose temper was well known to all his friends. Most of us had felt her wrath at one stage or another. Scott (my friend) was also very aware of his mum’s short fuse and had learnt when to be careful. She was clearly irritated that she had to pick us up and Scott was aware that he had to be very wary not to say anything to set her off.

He started with a fairly innocuous comment, a bit hot today, isn’t it mum?

Well that was the spark that lit her fuse and she quickly exploded, Well if you didnt run around all day like b——y idiots then you wouldn’t be so hot would you! Next minute when trying to change gears when going around the corner, she found that Scott had inadvertently put his foot under the clutch pedal. The gears were well crunched while Scott was trying to get his foot from under the clutch pedal. Well that started the next barrage of abuse, Scott was called a b——y idiot, what are you doing. Move your stupid b———y foot.

We thought it was quite funny especially because it was Scott and not us receiving the abuse. But, we were also relieved when we got to Scott’s place just in case we were next in line to be abused. When we arrived Scott nicely said to his mum, Thanks for taking us home mum.

I think that she was taken aback that he hadn’t gotten upset at all and that he was still being polite. She said, well make sure you don’t come into the house.The words sound gruff but her tone had changed and we knew that we were welcome.

At the time I never questioned what Scott’s mum had done but when I think about it she was sending some very powerful messages to him. Her short fuse made her say things to her children that were extremely derogatory to them. Scott was not an idiot and in fact I heard that he went on to become an engineer.

Tony Campolo a popular youth speaker tells how Jewish mothers relate to their children and compares what they say to what the Italian mother’s say. Jewish mothers are always telling their kids how great that they are going to be someday. Whereas the Italian mothers in his neighbourhood would predict a gloomy future for their kids. He commented that is it any wonder that the Jewish kids tended to be such high achievers.

Steve Biddulph in Raising Happy Children, lists the following reasons why parents give less than helpful messages to children.

You repeat what was said to you

  • Our foundation for parenting is our parents
  • I’m sure we have all at some time heard ourselves saying something to our kids and thought, Geez that’s what my dad said to me.

Other parents try to do the opposite to what their parents did:

  • You thought it was the right thing to do
  • Attitudes to raising children have change from our parents time. Once a parents role was seen as correcting their children
  • We now consider our childrens needs for self esteem and encouragement far more. Mainly because we are aware of the damage that we can do.

We are stressed out

  • Financial pressure, tiredness, loneliness or boredom can all contribute to negative responses to our children.
  • Children can be an easy vent for our tension.

If this is the most important job that I have in this life then I need to think very carefully about what I am communicating to the most important people in my life.

Quotes on personal courage

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“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave.” – Mark Twain –

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.-Louisa May Alcott

“Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to carry on with dignity in spite of it.”  -Scott Turow-

Success story

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chung

This is an interesting story of a Korean man who built a major education company:

Few preachers kids can say that the best advice they ever received from their father was to become a businessman rather than a missionary. But that is certainly true for Peter Chung, President and CEO of the Eminata Group, a multi-million dollar education-based company headquartered inVancouver , British Columbia .

Read the rest of the account here

His company website is here

Quotes on potential

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If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. Thomas Alva Edison

It seems to me that people have vast potential. Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don’t. They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever. Phillip Adams

Try not to be a man of success, but rather to be a man of value. – Albert Einstein

Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.  Norman R. Augustine

4 Ways to Understand Failure

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One of the true tests of personal development is being able to handle failure. Success is easy you just ride the wave and enjoy the feeling. Failure on the other hand throws up a very different range of emotions. What we do with them is very important and can determine future successes and failures.

Here are some insights into the reality of failure:

  1. To fail is not to be a failure – At least you have tried. Winning is not always being first sometimes it is knowing that you have done your best, tried your hardest and given your all. That is all that we can ever ask of ourselves.

    Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.– Denis Waitley

  2. Once you have learned from your failures leave them in the past – The worst mistake is to fail to learn from our failure. Once we have learned the lesson leave the emotion behind and move forward, wiser and stronger to face the future. Failure is not a disgrace, failing to learn demonstrates ignorance and that is a shameful thing. We are designed to grow but to think that we have arrived is a false hope in ourselves that removes us from reality. Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death – Ananias Nin
  3. You are never a failure as long as you keep trying – In the words of Winston Churchill, “Never give up”, now say it three times. If you aim for nothing that is exactly what you will achieve in life. Don’t expect every idea that you have to be a winner and realise that the mark of creativity is to try and try and try again.
  4. Failure is never final – This is your choice. What are you going to do with your life? Are you just going to play it safe and live as a timid mouse or are you going to discover the true person and learn to accept the adventure that life is.

I have not failed I have just found 10 000 ways that would not work – Thomas Edison

I find my greatest pleasure, and so my reward in the work that precedes what the world calls success – Thomas Edison

Google – What it says about personal growth

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What a bottom line to have? On BBC news:

Last month Google revealed global third quarter profits of $733m (£390m). This was a 92% increase on the $381m it made during the same time last year.

Is this sort of growth possible to sustain? From my humble perspective I would doubt it. But in the meantime it is great for google.

The question is who will be next? Following on from YouTube and other such major acquisitions the value of social networks is growing all the time. They are filling a need in our lives to understand ourselves in the context of community. We all know that just thinking highly of ourselves is of limited value but if someone else values something about us then that can elevate our self worth immensely.

That is why there is so much value in these networks that are forming every day. That is why these large companies are placing so much value on them.

I wonder if they will realise that working with real people will be very different to dealing with a commodity. Remember iVillage of the web 1.0 days. Where are they now? They are still there but they are no longer at the cutting edge of web communications and there is a plethora of startups looking to take the place of some of these ageing sites.

And, a bit of touch up on the outside isn’t really going to cut it. Its the same for our personal development.

  • To really change requires a revolution from within.
  • To find a totally new way of doing things.
  • To move outside a commodity based economy in our souls.
  • To develop a new way of communicating to ourselves and to others.
  • To move from individualism to active community engagement.

Google’s growth says to us that rapid change is possible for us after all many organisations reflect the sort of dynamics of people. How to make it sustainable is the difficulty that I will deal with in the very near future.

In the meatime just like Google if there is growth and change happening and it is positive enjoy the ride, set your sails to maximise it while it last and get ready for the next wave.

Steve Pavlina Forums

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A great spot to got to is Steve’s forums. I believe that Steve is one of the great resources in the blogging world on the subject of personal development and that these forums will provide an invaluable resource for people wanting to engage in more discussion on some of his ideas.

I am sure that they will be conducted in a very professional manner and it will be interesting to see how the conversation develops.

What are the factors influencing the growth of life coaching?

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  • A rapidly evolving business environment. Targeted development interventions have become popular in helping individuals adjust to workplace changes. The changing face of work is well documented and may traditional support mechanisms are no longer in place. The change in our economy of being predominatealy production based to the provision of services has changed the nature of work. In addition to this the rise of the tele-worker, the knowledge worker (Drucker), and changing workplace management strucutres are all contributing to changing worker needs.
  • The structural features of modern organisations. Organisational downsizing and flatter structures mean that individuals often have to quickly fit into the higher performance requirements or upskilling to fulil their new roles. In the new organisational structure individuals are required to assume more responsibility and be more involved in solving problems and involvment in the future of the company. Coaching can support individuals achieving these changes.

The number of businesses in the UK has ballooned from just 160,000 to 3.7 million since the mid-1950s. But of these, less than a third (1.1 million) employ people. Although large employers remain dominant in the labour market – for example, the 7,000 businesses that employ 250 or more people account for 45 per cent of non-government jobs – the size of the average workplace has been falling since the 1960s (CIDP Web).

As Drucker says more and more people are no longer employed full time and that the rise of the short term contract is changing the way that people are positioned in the workplace. One is contracted on the basis of a particular skill that they may have that can contribute to a specific company need.

  • The need for targeted, individualised, just-in-time development. The development needs of individuals can be diverse and in smaller organisations there are often too few individuals with specific development needs to warrant the design of a formal training programme. Coaching offers a flexible, option, which can be delivered ‘just-in-time’ to strengthen under-developed skills.
  • The increasing use of ICT technologies will enable more opportunities for more specialised coaching services to be made available. Following the trend of the granularisation of many educational services that in using modern communications media enable learning to be, just in time, just for me and just enough. Coaching offers opportunity for the individualisation of services using new communications.
  • Financial costs of the poor performance of senior managers. There is a growing acceptance of the costs associated with poorly performing senior managers/executives. Coaching provides an opportunity to undertake pre-emptive and proactive interventions to improve their performance. Anderson’s study of a Fortune 500 firm who engaged the services of a coaching organization reported that three-quarters (77%) of the 30 respondents indicated that coaching had significant or very significant impact on at least one of nine business measures. Follow up interviews with these respondents revealed that sixty percent were able to identify specific financial benefits that came as a result of their coaching. Overall, productivity (60% favorable) and employee satisfaction (53%) were cited as the most significantly impacted by the coaching.(Anderson, M.C., Executive Briefing: Case Study on the Return on Investment of Executive Coaching, p.3)
  • The Bottom Line: Coaching produced a 529% return on investment and significant intangible benefits to the business. Including the financial benefits from employee retention boosted the overall ROI to 788% (Ibid) Figures such as this demonstrate the cost effectiveness of a successful coaching relationship.
  • Individual responsibility for development. There is an increasing trend for individuals to take greater responsibility for their personal and professional development. It is recognised that learning is a lifelong requirement if one wants to maintain ongoing employability. Many people are unsure of their specific skills or may find it difficult to understand how previously attained skills may be applied to new situations. Coaching can help individuals identify development needs, plan development activities and support personal problem-solving.

The Manse – Year One

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We spent 9 years of our life in a small country town in North Queensland called Charters Towers. These are my memories of the people and events that were a part of our life during that time.

Before joining Cornerstone community (A Christian Community based in outback Australia) shortly after becoming a Christian I had spent 9 months in Israel living in a kibbutz (at type of communal farm). Although not a Christian I recognised the relationships formed in that living arrangement were some of the most intense but also the most rewarding that I had ever had. We brought with us from Cornerstone a strong desire to develop Christian community in which people had opportunity to express their Christian faith. We saw this beginning with our home.

We developed a love hate relationship with the manse. It had magnificent potential but was quite run down. It was built on a slightly sloping block. There was a short set of stairs to the front entrance but at the back it was high enough to walk under. The area under the house was bare dirt that brought into the house a constant fine layer of dust. The church surrounded the house on two sides. The only barrier was a chicken wire fence. Our backyard felt a bit like a fishbowl. If anything occurred inside it was fair game to be discussed during morning tea after church.

When taking a shower upstairs you could also shower under the house because of the leakage through the concrete shower base. The kitchen cupboards were full of nooks and crannies that many cockroaches, silverfish, mice and other creepy crawlies called home.

Each of the rooms in the house had several layers of floor coverings. April began an eradication program of these multi-layer dust traps. Occasionally over the next few years I would arrive home to an exhausted, sweaty wife and a pile of floor coverings dumped on the front yard. This was the signal that the next room was about to begin its journey of restoration. 

Gradually we began working on different sections of the house. In our first year we rebuilt the bathroom with the help of a Peter a local handyman. David and Rachel ex Cornerstone students dropped in while on their honeymoon and helped scrape off rubberized glue and underlay from our living room floor. Once stripped back we then punched every nail in preparation for the floor sander Alan the floor sander to come and sand the boards back.

One of the bonuses of this work was discovering what lay underneath. Under the layers in one room was a pile of Townsville Bulletins dating from the 1960’s. Work came to a standstill as we read the news about men landing on the moon, etc. In another room we found a number of 10 shilling and 1 pound notes spread under the floor coverings. We were told that this was done to bring good luck. Sadly we discovered that they were not worth a fortune. However, one day they will be worth more but we have to wait for when the Queen dies.

Our home became the foundation of our community ministry within the church. Our first year brought many friends and family who came to check out our new residence. We got used to putting up all different types of people often at short notice.

A very short history of Life Coaching

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Life Coaching originated as an industry in the United States approximately fifteen years ago (LCI). The Sydney Morning Herald (2000) reported that Personal Coaching was ranked as the second fastest growth industry in the US, after Information Technology. This growth has continued up to the present time although the inital hubris surrounding it has dissipated to a large extent. Coaching is now experiencing the massive growth in Australia that it has in recent years overseas.

For example in the 2002 -2003 period, (The largest non profit coaching association) membership in Australia and New Zealand has tripled and is close to 500 strong. Coles Myer utilizes the services of coaches as do a growing number of other public companies. (The Australian, OCT 31, 2003). The use of coaching by such organisations demonstrates that coaching is gaining a widespread respectability as it produces the results desired by these companies.

Coaching evolved from three main streams that have flowed together:

  • The helping professions such as psychotherapy and counseling
  • Business Consulting and organizational development
  • Personal development training such as EST, Landmark Forum, Tony Robbins and the Covey Seminars. (Williams, P. BBC Radio 4)

Further Reading Link here for an excellent article

Natasha – Year two

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We spent 9 years of our life in a small country town in North Queensland called Charters Towers. These are my memories of the people and events that were a part of our life during that time.

 

Don't let that girl near my mother.

Don't let that girl near my daughter.

The phone rang and the lady at the other end asked did I know a Natasha. When I said yes she asked if I could come and pick her up because there were a number of kids outside her shop threatening to bash her.

This was fairly typical of the types of feelings that Natasha evoked in people. At first glance the reasons why were not obvious. The first encounter with Natasha could be deceiving. She presented as a friendly outgoing young girl. After a short time it became very obvious that there was more to her than what first met the eye.

When Natasha came to live with us April and I were coming to terms with some of the implications of infertility. Life was marching on for both of us and the prospect of not having children was something we had to consider. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps Natasha was God's way of giving us a daughter.

I never saw anyone be friends with Natasha for more than a week. The only relationships she did develop were with people much younger than her and these never lasted. Perhaps the most enduring relationship she had was with our next door neighbour who was in Year 3. This was an age gap of nearly 10 years. One test of character she did pass was with our dogs. She was great with caring for our dogs and related very well with them. Dogs are far more forgiving than humans.

Natasha struggled with school. Or, should I say it in reverse the school struggled with Natasha. She was a constant visitor to the guidance officer and the school's administration with a constant array of problems. She was a dependent person and teachers who gave extra time and effort found themselves being sucked dry by Natasha's demands.

She was a chronic liar. Even when it was obvious that Natasha wasn't telling the truth she would still lie. It didn't matter if she knew that the lie would be found out she would still choose to tell the lie.

 

It was difficult to know how to handle Natasha's behavioural problems and we tried a wide range of tactics. Grounding seemed to be one option. But it ended up that she was never getting out of her room and zero social contact. Gradually we came to a point of allowing her to choose her actions and suffer the consequences of those actions.

Despite this black picture I have painted so far I really cared for her. Natasha and I spent lots of time together. Often we would dash over the church before the Sunday service to give the chair a quick wipe over and the floor a vacuum because the cleaner that week had forgotten to come. She was always willing to help out although when not interested in the task she worked at a maddeningly slow pace. She never refused to help when asked.

Her background was severely disadvantaged. She was taken from her mother at a young age and grew up with an alcoholic stepfather. The reasons why she was taken were never clear but they must have been quite serious to be removed from her step mother and placed not in the care of her natural father but her step father. Evidently her mother was quite promiscuous and her relationships with men intruded on her capacity to care for Natasha.

Lindsay the stepfather tried his best with Natasha. He was battling with his own demons and was poorly equipped to raise a teenage girl. Verbal abuse was quite a common occurrence during his drunken binges. Natasha's self esteem was poor and she clearly lacked many of the skills that a mother brings to a relationship with a daughter.

April worked on many of these things with her. Teaching her how to wear makeup and match clothes. She helped with all those girl sorts of things that I have no idea about.

Being the parent of a teenager is not easy for most people. Natasha brought with her a load of baggage that increased that difficulty immensely. We tried as far as possible to include her as a member of our family. She came on holidays with us.

The morning she left began like many others. I was in the shower when April tapped on the door and said, Natasha is leaving.

I quickly got out of the shower to see what was going on. Natasha asked if she could use the phone to ring a friend so that she could move her gear. Her room was already completely packed. Evidently she stayed awake most of the night packing. Within half an hour Natasha was gone. Despite the difficulties we had with Natasha we considered her part of our family. I couldn't bear to watch her leave the house. I had to go to the backyard to be myself and cry.

At first she wanted nothing to do with us. She told all sorts of lies to her friends about the reasons why she had left. However she gradually began communicating with us. We went a couple of times to the ice cream shop where we would talk. But, it was quite clear that she wanted to live her own life without any of the responsibilities that being a part of a family brings with it.

Shortly after she moved to Townsville. We tried to stay in contact. A couple of times when we were in Townsville we ran into each other. She would always have a bloke with her. Occasionally she rang to let us know her address. After a year or so the contact began to fade. I last tried to find her at a hostel but the people said she had moved and didn't know where she was.

I find it difficult to understand why Natasha would exchange the love of a caring family for the cheap transient pleasures that she was looking for. I know we are not the perfect family but I am sure the lifestyle we offered would be the most secure she had experienced. Then I think that most of us are not that different. We choose to forget to take the best that life offers and fill our lives with cheap baubles that have a superficial attractiveness.

The marks of a life of excellence

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  1. The mark of productivity – “A rut is a grave with the ends opened out”. There are some fundamental beliefs that will ensure that a person will live a productive life. These are: a belief in the importance of people as individuals, a belief that those people can add to your creativity, a belief that what others say to you is important to hear and respond to.
  2. The mark of progress – This is the person who seeks to grow. This does not require perfection but simply a desire to learn. If we are not prepared to learn then nothing will ever change in our lives. An excellent life will be distinguished by the growth that is evident in that person.
  3. The mark of power – When you have learned to be comfortable with yourself. Not trying to compete or keep up with those around you the power to live an excellent life is within your grasp. Power is never really given by an assigned position it comes from a belief in something beyond yourself and a confidence in that belief that allows you to orientate your life towards that goal.

Correctly directed ambition is a noble task. The problem is that so many people find their lives filled with tasks that fall short of the standards of excellence. So they let go of their potential and settle for a more mundane existence.

One of the truly great discoveries of a life of excellence is that it is not controlled by our circumstances. It is all to do with the direction of our eyes and the space between our ears. Excellence is a mindset, a belief that you are specially placed in this world to make a difference.

Isaac Stern the great violinist was once asked what truly distinguishes a great musician? He replied, ” A great musician is the one who always seeking to improve, never content with his performances, always moving on to discover more about the instrument and the music that he loves”
That is excellence.

WordPress for the absolute beginner – creating a category

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word logo An important aspect of blog maintenance is keeping it organised. Categories enable you to do this. There are several ways that you can create a category. Once you get to the categories screen the process is the same.

To look at the free course please go to my elearning site to register and login. You will then have full access to the course and be able to comment and make suggestions about how we can improve it further.

Are you tired of people pretending to be your friend

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I am. You know the type. The shop assistant trying to sell you a digital camera that is $200 dollars over your budget but has features that you cant simply be without. The car salesman who convinces you that you need the sat-nav system even though you live in a country town with only two streets. The telemarketeer who promises you instant savings on your phone bill but can never be contacted if you need some after sales support.

They will pretend to be your best buddy but we both know it isn’t real. So why do we keep playing the charade.

One call from a friend is worth 100 calls from an Academy-Award winner on tape.

The mistake politicians, like most marketers, make is that they think that what they are doing is way too important. Too important to leave to citizens. Too important to leave to ordinary people who happen to be big fans with organic, authentic networks of trusted friends. Too important to respect social boundaries. Seth Godin

We need to remember that we only have so much energy to see us through each day. We need to expend it on people who aren’t going to pretend. Sadly for many people these are the only connections that they ever get to make because they spend all their life pretending to be friends.

Its time to stop pretending and it is time to begin building those authentic relationships that are not based on what can be gotten out of each other. Marketeers and politicians can only ever speak to our materialistic existence. They only offer short term solutions.

Find instead friends who will speak to your soul. People who will be able to listen to you passions and contribute to that passion. Friends who you are able to listen to and offer the same in return. Find friends who will not pretend that they are listening and committed to you. Don’t allow inauthenticity to impinge in any way on the quality of relationship that you deserve.

Stop pretending and be energised instead. 

Gribble Awards – Gribbley’s for November

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Around the blogosphere this month: These are the articles that have stood out for me:
The Orlando Sentinal –

Although bloggers — basically people who keep Internet diaries to be read by a few or a few thousand — can start off with a bang, many are soon casting about for something to write about. When they get so desperate that they are actually typing “I don’t know what to write,” then the party’s over.

“That’s sort of the quintessential last post,” says Mason, “and then . . . crickets.”

Remember: Passion sells

There are 5,000 new blogs started each day. And many of them are, well, pretty dull. So how do you keep from being in that group?

First, be passionate about your subject matter — whether it’s dating or films or bowling.

  • This is so true. With so much happening in the blog world and new blogs being created every moment of every day there needs to be something that will distinguish your blog from the rest of the pack. Passion is a great beginning but then in the following recommendation you will find some tips about what to do to market your articles. People need to hear about what you are doing and that requires work as well.

Marketing Article

Last Thursday, I reported on an article marketing experiment I am in the midst of conducting. Specifically, I wanted to create more passive income, so I decided to give article marketing a real try and see how it went.

  • This article then has a great follow on to some of the ways to create increased revenue from your site.

Fast company.com

Silicon Valley start-ups and media behemoths aren’t the only ones realizing the rewards of the rebounding Web economy. Already, many A-list bloggers have generated significant income from running advertisements on their blogs. Though with an estimated 53.4 million blogs expected to launch by year-end, according to Perseus Development Corporation, it’s safe to assume that not everyone is going to get rich from blogging. So what’s in it for the up-and-coming blogger, beyond creative self-expression?

  • It isn’t as easy as it sounds and there are a number of articles that criticise this post because it doesn’t talk about the majority of blogs that wont make very much money. However the possibility to create a valuable niche is there. And, there are all sorts of reasons why you may want to blog. I would suggest that he adsense model by itself has limitations even though many are using it to create a significant income. A blog does give you a public face and it can be a factor in creating a profile that may just provide opportunities that you never thought about.

The emergence of the meganiche –

Now that a billion people are online, even sites aimed at a narrow slice of the Web audience can attract huge crowds. Make way for the meganiche!

  • The web world is continuing to grow and with very good incomes being made by those who have found their place the meganiche is worth understanding. The audience is growing everyday and a significant percentage of its users are looking for information. If you can organise your information well and connect with others then you have a high chance of success in creating a new meganiche.

I notice that the posts that have stood out to me are those about the possibilities that blogs can give the blogger. Thats ok because we need to understand the blogging community if we are going to be able to communicate with it. Each of these articles offers valuable insight and explores some of those possibilities.

Those wake up moments

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Steve Pavlina as usual has some great insights into the awakening of our consciousness. He suggests that humanity is at the edge of a significant mass awakening.

"One day you're tooling along, working your normal job, living your normal life, and everything seems OK. But something happens that triggers a sudden expansion of your awareness, and for that brief moment of perfect clarity, you know what it's like to be fully awake. You're struck by the terrifying realization that your life has gotten way off course, and that you're really meant to be doing something entirely different."

Discovery of ourselves is one of the greatest journeys that we can take. That awake feeling is cannot be artificially induced by chemicals or by the drug of choice of the middle class, shopping. It must come from within, from our spirits. What an exciting concept to see the possibility of people determing a new course for their lives based on the total awakening to their souls. What a difference such clarity could make for our collective consciousness. The first step of this journey begins with honesty. It will bring to us a mirror that will allows us to see ourselves in such a way that the possibility opens for us to begin that walk.

Positive thinkings power – there’s more to it than just weight loss

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Here is a great list of tips regarding the benefits of the positive thinking. Evidently it really does work. Even if it doesn’t its much better to be positive and reasonably happy than negative and very unhappy.

  • Optimism is a predictor of well-being, mood, physical health, and achievements
  • Positive thinking has been linked to a number of health benefits including enhanced immune functioning, faster recovery from surgery, increased longevity, reduced stress
  • Optimism can help people recover from setbacks during a weight loss program
  • Optimists are more persistent
  • Practicing positive thinking regularly helps to change the neural circuits in the brain, making it easier to think positively and engage in positive behaviors
  • Affirmations are short positive “I” statements that are in present tense – i.e. “I choose healthy foods that nourish my body.”
  • Keep a weekly journal of your achievements to help you stay focused on the positive and keep motivated
  • Connect with others – optimists are more likely to seek social support which can help during a weight management program
  • for more link here

Worth a read and the podcast should be worth a listen.

Relating Web 2.0 to our personal development

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Open up your data as much possible. There is no future in hoarding data, only controlling it.

Learn not to control information but become a conduit for communication. There is no future in relationships where a person uses their personal knowledge as power. So as much as possible be an open book. People will value your transperancy because they will be able to get to know an authentic person. Controlling data is about learning to organise information in such a way that people are able to access it in a meaningful way. Learn to be such a meaningful person in the way that you are able to communicate so that your interaction facilitates further conversation.

 

Aggressively add feedback loops to everything. Pull out the loops that don't seem to matter and emphasize the ones that give results.

Learn to listen and learn to hear what people are saying. Create spaces where people are able to come to you and know that they will be heard.

 

Continuous release cycles. The bigger the release, the more unwieldy it becomes (more dependencies, more planning, more disruption.) Organic growth is the most powerful, adaptive, and resilient.

Learn that people are your strength. Grow with them continually. Create an environment where you are able to grow continually rather than trying to take giant leaps. Organic growth is all about expanding your God given capacity, finding people that complement your abilities and allowing them to take their rightful place in your life.

 

Make your users part of your software. They are your most valuable source of content, feedback, and passion. Start understanding social architecture. Give up non-essential control. Or your users will likely go elsewhere.

 

Recognise the strengths in others and seek to bring out the potential in others at all times. It will come back to you eventually and eventually add to who you are. Recognise that the most valuable part of your life is the people around you.

 

Turn your applications into platforms. An application usually has a single predetermined use, a platform is design to be the foundation of something bigger. Instead of getting a single type of use from your software and data, you might be hundreds or thousands of them.

Learn to integrate rather than control. Controlling personalities are never able to grow beyond their own limitations. Those who are able to see that by bringing others into the adventure will in fact enhance that adventure are able to spread the control to others.

 

Don't create social communities just to have them. They aren't a checklist item. But do empower inspired users to create them.

Be genuine in your relationships with others. There is a difference between those who network as a part of meeting their own agenda. We all know the type because of their lack of genuiness. We tire very quickly in these relationships because they are based on what can be gotten out of it.

Be yourself – Everyone else is taken

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You are special. Until you realise that no one else in the whole world has your unique combination of strengths, thoughts, emotions, personality, desire, hopes and dreams you will never really reach your potential. No one else will ever be able to do the things that you do in quite the same way. You are special because of your unique spirit.

Until we learn to be comfortable in our own skin we can forget what it is that we were created for. That is why it is so important to be yourself. Everyone else is too busy to be themselves and can never really be the person that you are. That is why its so important to be ourselves and be happy with the way that we are.

This doesn’t mean that we should stop trying to improve ourselves. Being able to change is a part of the wonder of human existence. To become aware of ourselves and to recognise that we can expand our consciousness is a unique gift to humanity. That’s why we need to be ourself and not just try and clone ourself on a perception of what someone elses reality is about.

And if you ever forget just how special you are take this with you:

I’m special. In all the world there is no one like me. Since the beginning of time there has never been another person like me.
Nobody has my smile. Nobody has my eyes, my nose, my hair, my hands, my voice, I’m special.
Nobody anywhere has my taste for food or music or art. Nobody sees things just as I do.
In all time there has been no one who laughs like me, no one who cries like me.
And what makes me laugh and cry will never provoke identical laughter and tears from anybody else, ever.
No one reacts to any situation just as I would react.
I’m special. No one in the universe can reach the quality of my combination of talent, ideas, abilities and feelings.
Like a room full of musical instruments some may excel alone, but none can match the symphony sound when they are played together. I’m a symphony.
Through all eternity no one will ever look, talk, walk, think or do like me.
I’m special. I’m rare.
I’m special. And I am beginning to realise that it is no accident that I’m special.
I’m beginning to realise that God made me special for a very special purpose.
He must have a job that no one else can do as well as I.
Out of billions of applicants only one is qualified only one has the rare combination of what it takes to be me.

That one is me, because…….I’m special.

Read this poem whenever you begin to question just how important you are. When you question your life purpose. When you feel less than capable. When you feel as if you have failed in some way.

Always remember that everyone else is taken and that the most important job that you have in this world is to be yourself. Because, you are special.

He-Brew Beer

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beerI couldn’t resist putting this in. OK, we’re jealous. When did you last hear of Baptist Bitter? Or Pentecostal Pilsener? Or even Lutheran Lager? Like, never. So if you’re in search of a truly divine beer, you’ll have to cross the denominational divides big time, and head off to He’brew for “the best (and only) Jewish beer in America”.

He’brew, “the chosen beer”, offers four different brews. There’s Genesis Ale; there’s Messiah Bold (“the beer you’ve been waiting for”, ha ha); there’s Genesis 10:10 (brewed with pomegranate juice); there’s Monumental Jewbelation, and there’s even a beer in celebration of Jewish comedian Lenny Bruce. “This Chanukah, candles won’t be the only thing getting lit!” says one of the brewery’s many inspired sales blurbs.

He’brew: a beer so blessed, you’ll wish you were circumcised. Click here for the He’brew website. from the Ship of Fools