Chris Gribble

Be yourself - Everyone else is taken (Oscar Wilde)

Why everyone is making the switch to Sunrise?

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He’s bald, wears glasses, has a big nose and a slight paunch. Watch Sunrise channel 7’s morning program and it is obvious that Kochie is the heart of the rise and rise of the show. He shows that in Australia at least we are looking for men who are not afraid to be men.

  • Kochie is at times passionate, but we love his rants. We want to see men who are not afraid to stand for something. He sometimes puts his foot in his mouth. That only causes us to empathise because we are all guilty of that sometimes. And, who wants a man who is a doormat to frightened to say anything because they are frightened of offending some minority group.
  • We love his connection to his family. The fact that he wasn’t frightened to share his kids with us. He has strived not to become some distant uninvolved celebrity.
  • We love his obvious care for the other people in the show. The fact that when he goes a bit far with a joke or off colour comment that Mel is able to touch in on the arm to give him the signal to stop.
  • We love his honesty. We may not agree but at least we know what we aren’t agreeing with something. I loved a comment the other morning when some Christian group was complaining about the violence in a kids cartoon and he observed that don’t we read the Bible. So true. But what is nice is that he can also recognised his own warts.

On the other hand take a look at their competition.

  • Karl Stephenovi Stephanovic is too complicated to spell for a start. Australians prefer a Kochie or a Smithy or even a Gribbley. How would you add y or ie to Karl’s alphabet surname.
  • He’s young and good looking. But very bland. I have never seen him get angry or say the wrong thing on air. He’s seems to be always nice and nearly won dancing on ice. Sadly no one watched that either.
  • Richie (Dickie) Wilkins is too up himself for me. He won’t eat on air. Maybe its because he might dribble down his front. He can’t laugh at his old mullets and takes himself far too seriously. To look as good as he does at his age he must.

In Australia which is the land of the absent father Kochie symbolises to us our desire to see a good Dad. He doesn’t lord it over the others on the Sunrise team but it is obvious that they have a real respect for him as a man. That is refreshing for a start because when you begin work so early together I am sure that there is huge potential for conflict.

Without becoming a whimp he also shows a compassion for others. I watched as Joe Hockey was being steamrolled this morning into signing their solar power petition that Kochie recognised the significance of Joe signing. We see a genuine desire to help demonstrated often when a genuinely disadvantaged person is brought to his attention.

Thanks Kochie for Sunrise. I know that if you ever read this you would be highly embarassed and try to deflect the glory to your team mates. Another reason why I wanted to say something.

Financial Freedom – How to really find it

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Almost every self help book begins with setting goals to the point where it almost becomes a clich. This is not intended to be a self help post but an aid to finding freedom particularly in our finances. However an interesting byproduct of financial freedom is the discovery of many other new freedoms in your life.

A number of years ago I worked and lived with several heroin addicts. These people were at a stage where they wanted to change. They were fed up with a meaningless and aimless life in which they would probably die. What I discovered was that the addictions were not their real problem. Usually there was some part of their lives that they had found so unsatisfying that an escape into drugs seemed to be their only option. Once they were addicted they were totally committed to that habit. Their lives revolved around the next fix or how they were going to get the next lot of drugs. To change required replacing that passion with something new. That change to be effective needed to be totally life encompassing. It meant removing themselves from that environment and replacing it with a new one that gave them the freedom to be themselves without the aid of drugs.

In many ways that is what we need to do if we are to find financial freedom. Our lives need to be ruled by some new order. We need to replace hopelessness with hope.

Tim Costello quotes Ivan Illich an advocate of the poor in South America. He was asked what the most powerful way to change a society. Illich response was this,

     Neither revolution nor reformation can ultimately change a society. Rather you must tell a new and powerful tale, one so pervasive that it sweeps away the old myths and becomes the preferred story, one so inclusive that it gathers all the bits from the past and our present into a coherent whole, one that even shines some light into the future so that we can take the next step forward.

I believe this is also true for us as individuals. We need to gather our lives so far into a coherent whole and then begin to create a new story for our lives. Once we begin this process we can then begin to make progress.

Viktor Frankl a psychologist was imprisoned in a German concentration camp during the second world war. During this time he had the chance to observe human behaviour set in the most awful of conditions. He observed that when faced with the same conditions that people responded in different ways. Some were able to rise above their circumstances and others were enveloped by them and gave up in despair. He also observed that even in a concentration camp there were those who were happy.

He concluded from this experience that:

    Happiness is never achieved as an end in itself. It is always a by product of either: giving yourself to a higher cause or giving yourself to another in love.

Setting Goals

  1. Talk to others about their ideas to gain inspiration
  2. Create an environment regularly for reflection. For example keep a journal, take a regular walk or bike ride, read books, sit without watching TV or listening to the radio or watching a movie
  3. Set out what do you want to achieve.
  4. What is essential. These are your short term goals (Pay bills, holiday)
  5. What you would like to achieve in the future. These are your medium to long term goals ( a better job, retire at 50, buy my own business)
  6. Map an achievable plan to achieve your goals (How much you need to earn, study, business plan etc.)
  7. Do it!! Don't put your plans off any longer start implementing your plans because this is the only way that they will happen.

Related Post

Choice Magazines Shonky Awards

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What not to buy this week. Choice magazine listed the top ten products that should not be bought. The worrying thing for me is that I came very close to buying one of those robotic vacumn cleaners. And, I don’t mind Black and Gold pies, I think that they taste better than some of the more expensive brands. Perhaps one of the more disappointing items is the purely fish that has lots of other stuff in it as well. Or, when you think that you are drinking Gin and Tonic when it is really Vodka. I haven’t purchased an iPod yet and I probably won’t now. Who has time to sit down and listen to music? I have always been suspicious of magnets and now they are confirmed absolutely useless when it comes to helping with the washing. And, who would fall for the idea of oxygen drops? Well some people are hoping that there are suckers and have created a business out of it.
[Read more…]

Life really does begin at forty

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Four basic human needs

To live, to learn, to love, to leave a legacy

Life isn't over yet

In the movie Wall Street Gordon Gecko is played by Michael Douglas. He is a cunning unprincipled multi-millionaire corporate raider. One day he speaks to a meeting of spellbound shareholders who are worried about a takeover bid. He declares,

ladies and gentlemen, greed for the lack of a better word is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed in all its forms  greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge  has marked the upward surge of mankind

Later in the film, Gordon's friend Bud asks,Tell me, Gordon where does it all end? how many yachts can you water-ski behind? How much is enough? Thoreau the philosopher said that most men lead lives of quiet desperation. In my conversations with my peers I hear this desperation expressed often. They suspect that the endless accumulation of things isn't quite enough. And as we rapidly approach middle age there is a sense of unease that perhaps we won't quite measure up. That we have missed the main thing and that our chances to get it right are rapidly passing us by.

 

I recently was talking to a friend who was expressing his dissatisfaction with life. In his mid forties he is moderately successful in business. He has a small business that he runs very efficiently, he has a loving wife, his family are rapidly growing the eldest two successful in their chosen fields and the younger three progressing well in their schools. In most ways his life looks together yet he constantly says,There must be something more?

What's wrong with Steve? He feels that he should be earning more. He feels that his business should be bigger. That he should be driving a better car. Life hasn't fulfilled the promise that it seemed to have in his twenties and thirties. He says that even beyond the financial side there is this unease that keeps gnawing at him and he's not quite sure what to do about it.

His disquiet strikes a cord in me although it is not quite as fully developed. I too feel a growing sense of urgency within myself. I am nearly forty. I still don't have a full time job. I am nust about to change jobs at the age of 43 and am not always sure if my qualifications will secure employment. I have four  children aged six and under, this means that I will be sixty by the time that they might even think about leaving home. A friend told me that he never really started getting ahead financially until his kids had left home. That comment made me feel slightly sick in the stomach and I felt that sense of urgency once again. I will be left with approximately five years to save for my retirement which will not be nearly enough to save the $500 000 dollars or so that I will need to retire on.

Life has changed! I am no longer the care free adventurous young person I once was. I ask myself:

  • What happened, who am I, where am I going?
  • Have I wasted the first 25 years of my working life?
  • Should I panic because we don't own our own home?
  • Is it too late at 43 to find financial freedom?

Mark Levinson a psychologist says that for most people reaching forty there is some crisis. It is not hormonal or biological but it It is defined as a nothing period in our life where we are juxtaposed between the vitality of youth and the . Youth is seen as a time of vitality, daring, growth etc. old age is seen as a time of withering

Maybe I am asking the wrong questions? Tony Robbins in his book Awakening the Giant Within You says that we can change how we feel about our circumstances simply by changing our focus. By changing the focus of our questions we can change our perspective on our problems.

Stephen Covey in First Things First first chapter asks, How many people on their death bed wish they'd spent more time at the office? In this chapter he describes the tension that most of us feel between what we want to do and our responsibilities. I feel certain responsibilities as a Father, as a husband and as a member of society to contribute in worthwhile ways. Sometimes I feel that life is more about survival than the fulfillment of some of the things that I consider more worthwhile.

 

This dilemma was reflected in a recent conversation with a friend of mine said he was too busy at work. His weekly routine meant being there for up to 90 hours a week trying to keep things going at work. I said to him, but don't most people spend at least 90 hours a week doing something? Most of us sleep for around 42 to fifty hours a week and the rest of it we are doing some activity or the other.

I went on, What I think you're saying is that you are not happy with the way that your spending your time.

My friend's dilemma demonstrated to me the way many people perceive the way that they spend time. A lot of people think that each week they are not spending enough time doing what they really want to do. Locked in a vicious cycle of meeting financial commitments to maintain a certain standard of living life becomes a drudgery of working to maintain and gain things that are ultimately viewed as not having much value. Or we have no boundaries that divide ourselves from our work therefore work overtakes who we are. We find that we can't so no to new demands on our time or finances because we always say yes. Our attitude to retirement further reflects this tension we feel. Retirement becomes the opportunity to do the things that they want to do when freed from the tyranny of having to work. It is disappointing that we have to wait to the end of our life before we believe that we can start doing this.

In an American study of people over the age of 90 they were asked what three things they would change if they could have their lives over? The following three statements came up most often:

  • They'd reflect more  That is they would take more opportunities to step out the daily grind to thoughtfully examine the meaning and purpose of their lives. In doing this they would ensure that their energy was expended on worthwhile pursuits.
  • They'd risk more Given their choice these elderly people would have taken more opportunities to step out of their comfort zone. They would take risks to explore more of what life offers and not accept that life was a rut.
  • They'd invest more in things that will outlast themselves –

Jack Nicholoson in the movie as good as it get plays an obsessive compulsive man who lives to have everything in order. His neighbour's intrusions aggravate him. He gets so frustrated that he bursts into his psychiatrists waiting room and says to the group, Maybe this is as good as it gets.

Maybe there is an element of truth in that statement. There are some things that we can't change. More than likely I will turn 40 in a few months time. I won't be able to do some of the things that I used to do in my 20's and 30's. I probably won't become a millionaire by the time that I'm 45. I will have to support a wife and four children for at least the next 20 years.

What I can do is change my attitude to these things. The questions that I have been asking are from the wrong perspective. They encourage a negative perspective on my future, my ability to earn an income, the reasons why I earn and income and my attitude to work.

Rather than wondering how my life is half over I should be celebrating the experiences I have had so far. Instead of thinking that opportunities might be limited I can begin to embrace the future. My working life is half over but I can begin to capitalize on the experience that I have gained over the past 25 years of work. Financial freedom may not be found in having a better paying job or winning a million dollars but in changing my attitude to money.

Questions to ask of myself

  • Write down five of the most significant questions that I have at the moment?
  • Are they empowering questions or do they reflect confusion about what is important?
  • How can you turn these questions around?
  • Try rephrasing some of these to approach them positively?

At forty life isn't over yet. I sometimes think that my working life is nearly over. Yet logically I have another 25 years or more to constructively contribute and earn an income. There is still a future. We have to take control of that future and begin to shape it in a way that allows us to discover freedom.

3 ways to TRIPLE your traffic in three days

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Yes it can be done. But, it also depends on where you are starting from. As a beginner to the whole idea of adding value to my site through increased traffic I have tried the following ideas.

  1. Post regularily. The value of the site is in its content. No content no value. By regularly posting people are more interested in coming back to your site again and again. Write good stuff that you will be proud of in a years time. It is often said that some of the older posts are the ones that generate interest again and again. Post with that future in mind. Besides what’s the point of writing garbage all the time? There is enough spam and cheap sex on the web already so try to make a positive impact with what you say.
  2. Encourage communitiy – Get around the Blogosphere a bit. Encourage others not just for the sake of getting traffic but because there is so much great stuff out there. Blogging is a great way to become a part of a community. Make interesting comments on other people’s blogs because you like them and what they have said.
  3. Tell people what you are doing – Put your site on your email signature. After all if you are proud of what you are doing then let people know. Register with the blog directories such as Technorati and Blogarama.

It worked for me. Not that I set out to triple my traffic in three days. That came because of a renewed committment to my blog and a desire to give something to the Blogosphere. I also needed to create a more public presence for what I am doing next year.

So if you have a chance check out my elearning, or Green Light Profile or find your own voice and set up a WordPress blog today. It’s so cheap that everyone should be doing it.

If none of those things interest you then I just hope that you connect with some aspect of my life. We are all in this journey on earth together and the web is reshaping that journey in many new and exciting ways. The advent of the blog means that we are all able to have a voice to add to each other.

Leadership – it begins in the home

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I think the ultimate test of the efffectiveness of a leader is what happens in their home. What are their kids like – healthy, dysfunctional, drug addict, corporate leader, artist, confident. Too many leaders have left in their wake so much pain and hurt among those closest to them that it has diminished their star. This is especially true if we take the definition of leadership as the ability to influence others. If we cant influence those closest to us positively then whatever else we do will count for little. For example the late Kerry Packer's relationship with his family. From an outsider's perspective there is no mistaking the genuine love that his children had for him. From all accounts Kerry could be a very difficult man but in my mind he passed the ultimate test of leading first at home. I want to be a great man. When I was younger I thought of greatness in terms of the empire that I would create and the size of the my bank balance but time has mellowed some of that ambition. Now my primary quest for greatness is in the eyes of the five people that I live with. They see me for what I really am, they know my faults and weaknesses and sensitivities yet they are so forgiving Here are some choices that I must make if I am to be an effective leader in my home: Choose words that build up – Words are such powerful tools. We need to choose our words very wisely if we want to be an effective leader at home. It is very easy to let slip words that tear down when I feel stressed or tired or even selfish when everyone wants to invade my space. I need to choose words that say good things to those around me – I love you, sorry, can I help, you look lovely, you are very special, thank you, that's great, how wonderful. Choose to spend my time doing the important things – Even if I say that the kids are important if I don't spend my time with my family and kids then my words count for very little. Its what we do that counts in their eyes. And, they are the ones who get to really see what I am doing with my time. The important things in my life at the moment are being home so I can help bath the kids, read with my eldest daughter, pray before they go to sleep, wrestle with my son and sitting with everyone at the dinner table. Choose to love unconditionally – This means giving when I am not receiving. Washing up when everyone else is too tired at the end of a hard day. Not making my needs the first priority in the family. Choose to make the hard decisions – But do it in a way that makes the family feel better. We can't always do everything that we would like to do or we sometimes have to choose between two very good options. Sometimes I can't be everyone's friend. In these situations its important not to be a friend but a father. Choose to listen instead of talking – It can be very easy to think that it is only my perspective that matters. Communication is always more about what I don't say or what I do when I stop talking.

Making money – Perspective

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In 1923 a group of the world's most successful financiers met at a Chicago hotel. Present were:

  • The president of the largest independent steel company.
  • The president of the largest utility
  • The greatest wheat speculator
  • The president of the New York Stock Exchange.
  • A member of the President's cabinet.
  • The president of the Bank of International Settlements.
  • The head of the world's greatest monopoly.

Collectively these tycoons controlled more wealth than there was in the United States Treasury, and for years the newspapers had been printing their success stories and urging the youth of the nation to follow their example. Twenty five years later, lets see what happened to them.

  • The president of the largest independent steel company -Charles Schwab- lived on borrowed money the last five years of his life, and died penniless.
  • The greatest wheat speculator – Arthur Cutten died abroad in poverty.
  • The president of the New York Stock Exchange – Richard Whitney- was in prison.
  • The member of the President's cabinet – Albert Fall- was pardoned from prison so he could die at home.
  • The president of the Bank of International Settlements -Leon Fraser – committed suicide.
  • The head of the worlds greatest monopoly – Ivan Krueger- committed suicide.

All of these men had learned how to make money, but not one of them had learned how to live.

John Gray – Men are from Mars & women are from Venus

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Billing himself as the best selling author of all time with sales of 30 million (http://www.marsvenus.com/degreeinfo.php) John Gray's Mars/Venus brand is internationally recognised. He is included in this review of the super coaches because of his development of the Mars/Venus coaching franchise that is based on is best selling books. His website claims accreditation through the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

    At Mars Venus Coaching we provide training programs, workshops, life coaching and executive coaching services that dramatically enhance personal and organisational performance in the areas of leadership, teamwork, communication, relationships and life management skills. (http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com/what-is-marsvenus.html)

 

Since publishing Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus in 1992, Gray has been a prolific author with 14 books written covering almost every aspect of the relationship and organisational spectrum. Dr. Gray has authored 14 other best-selling books: What You Feel You Can Heal (Heart Publishing 1984), Men, Women and Relationships (Beyond Words Publishing 1993), Mars and Venus In the Bedroom (HarperCollins 1995), Mars and Venus Together Forever (Harper Perennial 1996), Mars and Venus In Love (HarperCollins 1996), Mars and Venus On a Date (Harper Collins 1997), Mars and Venus Starting Over (HarperCollins 1998), Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Book of Days (HarperCollins 1998), How To Get What You Want and Want What You Have (HarperCollins 1999), Children Are from Heaven (HarperCollins 1999), Practical Miracles for Mars and Venus (HarperCollins 2000), How To Get What You Want at Work (HarperCollins 2002), and Truly Mars & Venus (HarperCollins 2003). John Gray's latest book, The Mars & Venus Diet & Exercise Solution (St. Martin's Press 2003). In addition to his prolific publishing schedule Gray also is an ever present expert on American talk shows and writes a nationally syndicated newspaper column.

While the original Mars/Venus concept was very helpful in making information about relationships accessible Gray's subsequent books have tended to expand on predictable themes. They tend to follow an expected pattern that is largely repetitious regurgitation of the original Mars/Venus theme.

What are interesting is the questions that arise concerning Gray's credentials. A note from his website suggests that these questions have impacted on Gray because he sees the need to officially respond with a note about the legitimacy of his degree.

Gray received his degree in 1982 from Columbia Pacific University. The school closed their doors in 2001. Prior to that date according to the California Bureau for Private Postsecondary and Vocational Education:

    CPU degrees awarded before June 25, 1997 are legally valid. Your degree, and any credential or license you received by virtue of the degree, should not be affected. CPU had legal approval to operate until June 25, 1997, and the degrees it issued before June 25, 1997 are legal. This was taken from http://www.bppve.ca.gov/press_releases/cpuweb_dec2000.htm

(http://www.marsvenus.com/detailedbiography.php)

Cult watch e magazine claims that it can find no evidence of Gray's degrees through any accredited university. They actually were unable to trace the awarding of his High School diploma. They also question the ethics by which he has attained membership to the American Counselling (ACA) association and the International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors (IAMFC) stating that he does not meet the minimum educational requirements to gain their membership (http://www.rickross.com/reference/gray/gray2.html). Membership is based on an honour system that doesn't require verification of one's credentials.

It would appear that although Mars/Venus coaching is accredited through the ICF this is exactly the coaching model that it is trying to weed out through a process of accreditation and professional skills. By claiming PhD status Gray has assumed an unearned legitimacy that has aided his movement into the coaching field.

Gribble Awards – A Gribbley to the following blog posts

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These are posts are awarded a Gribbley in their particular area: What is a Gribbley. It is my award for posts that I have read and have enjoyed or got something out of. The criteria is completely up to me and is known only to me. This month I have awarded Gribbley's to the following categories. Blogging All of us will sometimes wonder what on earth are we doing day after day sharing our thoughts to the world? What really is a blog? What am I here for? Is it a case I blog therefore I am? Darren and the boys have just received a significant boost through a significant sum of venture capital for their efforts in the last year or so in developing the B5 media group.

  • Problogger – Here are the 18 top lessons that Darrren has learned. Along the way have been many challenges, milestones and celebrations so today I thought I'd do some reflection and create a list of things I wish someone had sat me down and told me in the early days.

Personal Development The title for this post sounds like and oxymoron. But there is some great hints in this blog. Posts can be a bit intermittent but the archives are great. Go to this one to save you a heap of money especially if you are considering paying out for a Tony Robbins pack or seminar.

  • Self help for lazy people – "There is a common thread to all self help books. Instead of having to fork out hard earned cash to hear the same message again and again – why not just follow the tips listed below and it will save you time and money. I have called this post "Self Help and Personal Development for Lazy People". Yes we've heard it all before but it doesn't hurt to be reminded again of some of these essentials in life.

Christian There are some really great Christian blogs out there and some extraordinarily mediocre ones as well. The Porpoise Diving life is obviously related to some other Christian theme because it doesn't make sense to be porpoise diving.

  • The Porpoise Diving life – "OK!OK! I am going to provide you with the answer to the most numerous question I have been asked since creating, authoring and launching The Porpoise Diving Life: What do you mean by the phrase; Reality For The Rest of Us?" Seriously too many Christian sites take themselves too seriously. Learning to laugh at our foibles is a sign of health.

Web tech In a week when the sale of YouTube has eclipsed all other news i have decided not to award a Gribbley this month. I am sick of hearing about YouTube and MySpace. Even though they are big and it seems that everyone goes there I would hope that there is much more to come. I am waiting excitedly for the next Web 2.0 app to try out. Just making money doesn't cut it with me.

ABC’s of Fatherhood – N

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No – sometimes you have to be able to say no. There are many instances where for my kids health or safety I say no.

No – to junk food all the time because it clogs them up. They stop going to the toilet.
No – to walking across the road by themselves because they are too young to appreciate the dangers.

To think that a child should only have positive affirmations does not give the boundaries that they require for healthy development. If they can’t handle no they will fail to build the resilience that they will need to survive life’s difficulties.

Struggle is a part of life. To not struggle would mean that a child will never be able to overcome and ultimately become stronger. Of course no parent wants to see their child suffer and no sane parent would cause unneccesary suffering for their child but we all know that suffering is a part of life that we all must deal with.

Saying no in a loving environment provides a framework for a child to begin to learn life’s boundaries and enable them to build loving relationships.

Janelle -Year One

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We spent 9 years of our life in a small country town in North Queensland called Charters Towers. These are my memories of the people and events that were a part of our life during that time.

April and I were among the youngest members of the church. There were two young children, no regular teenagers, 4 people in their 30's. Then a huge gap to people in their 60's. It seemed like an impossible task to bring young people into the church. Where would we start? Even if young people did become Christians what would we do with them?

 

One Sunday I noticed an attractive young girl enter nervously and sit at the back of the church. It was a wonderful moment to have a young person join us. Over the next few months she continued to attend fairly regularly. Janelle always appeared attentive and gradually opened up more about the reasons for coming.

 

She was not unknown to the rest of the church. Her mother was a longstanding member and Janelle grew up in the Sunday School. Like many other young people she rejected the impression of Christianity she saw in the established church. Recently a number of crises in her life forced her to search for answers. She said that my sermons were relevant to the problems she was facing at the time. This was a great encouragement to me.

 

At the end of the year she asked to be baptized. This was the first baptism done in the church for a number of years. Not only was it a symbol of new life for Janelle it was also a sign of new life within the church. Many of the older people who had taught Janelle in Sunday School and then see her leave the church were greatly encouraged by her spiritual growth.

 

Janelle had an adventurous spirit. Her return to Charters Towers was only a respite between overseas trips. Even though she was local it was only a matter of time before she had the urge to travel again. This time she went to the United States firstly as a nanny and then to work at the summer camps. While there Janelle met a young Christian man name Jim. Shortly after they were engaged and were making plans to settle in the United States.

 

Today Janelle and Jim live in a lovely cabin in the northern United States. Jim's family owns a sawmill. He made their home, a picturesque cabin with an amazing view and furniture with his own hands. They are very involved in the life of the local church. Jim and Janelle are also the youth group leaders with a ministry to hundreds of young people through the Word of Life programs.

 

Do you have what it takes to be a successful leader

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DO YOU HAVE WHAT it takes to be a successful leader? Possibly not. Forty percent of all new leaders don’t last 18 months in their organisation. The problem? They are not properly equipped to lead. Nine out of ten new leaders say they arrive at the top feeling they lack the know-how and tools to succeed. And most don’t get the support they need—starting with the boss.

These new leaders also discover that what got them there from working non-stop to paying attention to the small details isn’t enough to keep them there. This is also costing companies it is estimated that for every failed senior leader hired more than $2.5 million goes down the gurgler. This is costing the company, the shareholders and ultmately the customers. The good news? What it takes to make it as an execuflve can be leamt It’s a matter of picking up new skills and strengths and letting go of old ones—even if they’ve driven your career success up untU now. Here’s how to beat the odds as a rising leader.

  • Let go of self-doubt. Know yourself and your peculiarities, failures and strengths. Insecurity sucks the strength from a team because they cannot bear to see anyone excel. Put confidence in your presence and purpose you were chosen because you have a unique mix of skills and abilities use them.
  • Let go of running flat-out until you crash. On your deathbed you wont be wishing that you spent a few more hours at the office. You wont become a hero by working 24/7 in fact when I look at a leader I see such misdirected workaholism as a weakness.. Besides you are setting a bad example for everyone else and you’ll bum out and those around you will too. A leader who tries to operate 24/7 is bad for other people’s morale. Break the cycle by scheduling regular time for recovery and renewal.
  • Let go of one-size-fits-all communication. Customize every message for the group and goals at hand. Learn to communcate well, practice what you are going to say. Then take the time to listen. This will always be the best part of what you say. Its what you do when you stop talking that really determines your effectiveness as a communicator. Less is more.
  • Let go of self-reliance. Replace “me” with “we.” You may have advanced here on your own, but now you are only as good as your team. Jim Collins recognises that in Good to Great companies the leader is able to stop being the centre of attention.
  • Let go of the urge to tell “how.” Micromanaging is a sure way to fail. Set the agenda for what gets done and leave the how to your team.
  • Let go of responsibility. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Responsibility for a few results belongs to your team. Accoimtability for many results belongs to you.
  • Let go of’only looking up and down. There’s more to consider than what’s up with the boss or what’s going down with subordinates. Look left and right, too, since partnerships with peers provide valuable informaflon.
  • Let go of an inside-out view. An innermost perspecflve may have served you in the past, but it won’t now. Lead with an outside-in view by knowing what else is happening in the intemal and extemal environment.

ABC’s of being a Father – M

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Music – We sing grace together every night. And we enjoy listening to songs on the radio and will sing together. We are not always in tune or in time but we have fun. I am not even especially talented with any form of music but it is a fun part of our family life. We dance and we sing in our unco-ordinated way.

Memories – We are creating memories with our kids. We do lots of things together. We don’t have a lot of money but we have been able to make time to spend with the kids. WE take holidays together, we spend weekends together and we enjoy each other’s company. Our memories are of being together, laughing at the funny things we do, playing silly games and having conversations at the meal table.

Steve Jobs – Lessons from iCon

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As I have mentioned the book is a fascinating read and give a great deal of insight into the character of this man. As I read it I discovered some of what I would like to do and also what I would like not to do. Without a doubt time has mellowed him and his family has had an enormous impact on some of the more abrasive edges of him.

  1. Be focussed – Steve Jobs is an incredibly focussed man. He is not afraid to put his head on the line for what he believes in. In several biographies that I have read recently this is a quality that has stood out to me.
  2. Be honest – One story about the way he treated his early partner Woz did not sit well with me at all. There is no need for dishonesty. And even though the sum was only a small amount it did a great deal of damage for their relationship. I would also disagree with some of his business ethics. To me my word is my bond and it is not to be changed lightly. Steve appears to be able to see situations from only one perspective his own and therefore in a number of the situations described demonstrated a lack of integrity.
  3. Take risks – Several times he put it all on the line. He was prepared to live by his convictions. Sometimes it is hard to leave the safe cocoon of a secure job. But, I would like to think that I could also take the challenge of risking all for the sake of what I believe in.
  4. Family is important – He says that this is the one thing that changed him the most. I would have to agree. I have discovered in my kids a whole world that nothing else I can do compares to. This really is the one area that I don’t want to fail in.

iCon is a fascinating read about the life of an extraordinary man. Even though it describes his failings and personal shortcomings I didn’t feel that it was done in a detrimental way. Steve Jobs is after all a human being who has been a part of several extraordinary stories in his business life. He has failed but then he has risen above his failures to go onto bigger and better things.

Recent Interview with Woz from Guy Kawasaki 

Community – the art of creating it

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  1. Create something worth building a community around. The key to building a community is a great product. Frankly, if you create a great product, you may not be able to stop a community from forming even if you tried. By contrast, it’s hard to build a community around mundane and mediocre stuff no matter how hard you try. We only have to look at the iPod it is more than an MP3 player it is a culture. People are looking for something to believe in and to share that belief with other like minded people. Whether it be a church, service club or a self help group if we don’t really believe in what we are doing we won’t be committed to those who are a part of the group.
  2. Create an open system. Communty needs to be open to newcomers. This is one of the more dificult things to do because newcomers threaten the unity. They will come with new ideas and may at times challenge the community. But they are neccessary for growth.
  3. Foster the conversation. In any conflict the first thing to go is the communication. We stop talking to each other. Community needs talk and lots of it. Not negative words that take away from the group but words that add to the purpose and mission of the group.

Can a blog make money?

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For most people it won’t. In fact like most things in life it will probably disappoint if you set out just to make money. But if it is something that you aspire to here are a couple of excellent links to sites that may help you in that journey.

  • Steve Pavlina’s article on making money. It is as he describes it a monster but it is full of invaluable information on how to make money blogging.
  • Pro-blogger – the whole site is full of invaluable information about setting up your site to maximise income.
  • Yaro Starak – Not just a blogger but an entrepreneur who has lots of ideas that are worth considering.
  • Guy Kawasaki – the first one hundred and 20 days of his blog.

Of course there are hundreds of blogs out there but these are four of the best that I have found. They make sense, explain in everyday language (not geek speak) and they have done it themselves.

Or you can be like most of us and just enjoy the journey. I love technology, spirituality, personal growth and people. A blog allows someone like me to express themselves and live their passion. It also provides a means for others to share that journey, to comment and to contribute. What more could a person want?

Why I don’t have google ads on this site

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For this blog I don’t think adsense makes sense. I know that the lure of millions is out there because all it needs is for people to click on those links that google provides for you. Adsense is very easy to set up but frankly it looks ugly. I also believe that we are getting close to the point of adsense overload. Those ads are on just about every site and I tend to avoid them because I know when it is information that I am after that ads are usually there to support a product.

  • A blog hosting service – I have decided to specifically use WordPress because it has such great support and is easily used by even a novice. Find your voice today and contact me regarding your blog needs.
  • The Green Light Coaching service – go to the traffic light and have a look around. I believe that the Green Light Profile is one of the best that I have ever used. I like its level of interaction and that it isn’t just a tick and flick process but is a result of the interaction between the interviewee and the interviewer. In the end it give a very honest guide to a person’s strengths.

Next year I am looking at a more uncertain income and have had some of these ideas about ways I can help people and live as well. I have loved blogging and since I first heard of it a few years ago have had a variety of blogs. At first I started with a number of free sites and tried a variety of platforms. Then I had to decide what I actually wanted to blog about.

The answer was very easy at first – We were about to have a baby and I was feeling a bit old at the time, so that was my topic. This blog has turned into an ongoing journey that has focussed mainly on the kids. You can look at it here. This blog really has beome a labour of love. My family is very important to me and I have a ready source of material available to publish.

As time went on I got more and more interested in hosting my own blog. I tried a number of different platforms until I stumbled across WordPress. This is a great platform that is constantly getting added to. Then I saw domain names being offered for $1.99 or something like that. Thankfully ChrisGribble.com was available and so I set up a host and got underway.

Unfortunately the busyness of life took over. A new baby, work committments and an extra job plus three other young kids limited the time I had to devote to this blog. However I have tried in the past two months to have a better balance. To spend some time doing the things I love like writing and so I have been able to contribute more to ChrisGribble.com.

So I am here blogging for my future. Expressing my Green Light strengths and having a great time. I have always loved the web and have seen with some of the Web 2.0 developments greater potential than ever for creating community and communicating more effectively than ever before.

Infertility article – Year One

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We spent 9 years of our life in a small country town in North Queensland called Charters Towers. These are my memories of the people and events that were a part of our life during that time.

1 Samuel 1 (GNB)(2)Elkanah had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah, Peninnah had children, but Hannah did not (6)Peninnah, her (Hannah’s) rival, would torment and humiliate her, because the Lord had kept her childless. (7)This went on year after year; whenever they went to the house of the Lord,Peninnah, would upset Hannah so much that she would cry and refuse to eat anything. (1 O)She (Hannah) was deeply distressed and she cried bitterly as she prayed to the Lord….
(1 5b) I am desperate, and I have been praying pouring out my troubles to the Lord. Don’t think that I am a worthless woman. I have been praying like this because I am so miserable–

For most women their period is a natural part of their monthly cycle but for some it marks a regular time of grief 15% of couples in Australia are infertile. That is they have not been able to conceive for after 12 months in an unprotected sexual relationship. This statistic is on the increase. The reasons why it is increasing are still unknown but it is a growing issue for many couples.

April and 1 have been trying to have children for 5 years, with no success. It has been one of the hardest things we have had to face together in our marriage.

April says, “To be childless makes me feel less than a woman. Even though there are many couples that choose not to have children today, it’s still their choice. To have that choice taken away is painful. My monthly period is a regular reminder that 1 am unable to conceive and 1 feel like it is my fault. Even though the Doctors say that the problem is just hormonal and a laparoscopy found no problems nothing has seemed to work for me.”

For ourselves the medical profession has sometimes been less than understanding. This was especially the case when we first were trying to discover what was wrong and a lack of funds prevented us from getting private care.

“At first we were under the public system, that was awful. The doctor was inconsiderate of the emotional needs of a person facing infertility. He would make inappropriate comments and failed to see what he said was rude,” said April.

After one consultation with him April left the hospital in tears. To make matters worse he failed to prescribe enough of the hormone that she was lacking and for two years she didn’t ovulate properly anyway.

April says this has changed since she started seeing her current doctor. He quickly recognised the error of the previous gynaecologist and prescribed the correct dosage. But, even though he said that she is ovulating regularly and nothing can be found medically wrong she has still failed to conceive.

Another problem for infertile couples is sex can become a tedious chore revolving around temperature rises and monthly charts. “A couple of times we have decided to give it a break. Not from sex, just the constant watching for my temperature to rise and then ‘doing it.”‘

Families can inadvertently put enormous pressures on infertile couples. “There is nothing that my mother wants more than to have grandchildren. Even though she is very supportive it is difficult to face that 1 can’t give her that pleasure. Chris’s sister has three kids and his mother is devoted to them. 1 sometimes think that if we had children then we would be closer to her,” said April.

In spite of the huge advances that science has made there is still a percentage of people who will be unable to conceive. Psychologists say this loss is like actually losing a child. [Read more…]

Infertility – Year One

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We spent 9 years of our life in a small country town in North Queensland called Charters Towers. These are my memories of the people and events that were a part of our life during that time.

April and I began to be concerned about not having children after our first wedding anniversary. A local doctor in Emerald referred us to the public gynecologist. This began a sometimes heartbreaking experience of dealing with infertility.

Relying of the public hospital system can be a humiliating experience. You are at the doctor's mercy. In rural areas there is little recourse if there is a problem with a doctor. A patient's right to a second opinion is worthless if there is no one else to see. We had to deal with arrogant incompetence, insensitivity and rudeness. It annoyed me to see this man later extolled on a current affairs show as a rough saint of the bush. Many times after a consultation this saint's rudeness and insensitivity would leave April in tears.

Moving to Charters Towers allowed us access to an excellent private specialist in Townsville. We began what was to be an emotional roller-coaster in our efforts to have children. April was prescribed increasing levels of clomid, a hormone that encourages ovulation. A good part of this year was spent taking April's temperature to see if ovulation had occurred.

The years of dealing with infertility were taking their toll on our relationship. The drugs alone cause hormonal imbalances that result in mood swings. At the end of the year we decided to take a break. We joined a private health insurance fund and needed to wait for 12 months before we could claim on a pre-existing condition. This was a welcome relief for our relationship. We decided to wait a year and then look at further options.

Leadership insights from the Tao of Leadership

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The Tao of Leadership

Leaders should not seek power or status; people will not then crave power or status. If scarce goods are not valued highly, people will have no need to steal them. If there is nothing available to arouse passion, people will remain content and satisfied. The truly wise do lead by instilling humility and open-mindedness, by providing for fair livelihoods, by discouraging personal ambition, by strengthening the bone-structure of the people. The wise avoid evil and radical reform; thus the foolish do not obstruct them. They work serenely, with inner quiet. he best leaders, the people do not notice. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear; and the next, the people hate. If you have no faith, people will have no faith in you, and you must resort to oaths. When the best leader's work is done the people say: We did it ourselves!