Chris Gribble

Be yourself - Everyone else is taken (Oscar Wilde)

A reflection on Psalm 54

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54

Rock bottom is a terrible place to be,
It feels totally friendless,
Arrogance speaks words that want me dead,
His only message to me is failure,
Day and night his words cut deep into my soul,
Truth is replaced with put downs,
I wonder if God hears my pain?

Out of the carnage,
Left in Arrogance’s barrage of word vomit,
God helped me to emerge,
In the midst of wanting to die,
I heard God speak to me,
“My beloved child …..”

Instead of pleasing Arrogance,
My life is devoted completely to God,
When I was emerging into the light,
Arrogance still holds up a puny fist,
But he now wallows in his own vomit,
His life is pitiful, self centred,
Each day lived in misery,
My days are now full of possibility,
Given to me by God,
Truth is having its way,

God loves to bring hope to the broken,
My life daily witnesses to His care,
My first desire is to be with Him,
Arrogance walks with deep shame,
Now I can look Arrogance in the eye,
And, thank God for Truth.

Five benefits of checking email once a day

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My name is Chris and I am an email addict. I confess that I may relapse at any moment. But, for now I have my email habit under control.

Slowly I have been reducing my dependence until just recently I took control and decided to check my email once each day at 3.00 pm in the afternoon. At that time I deal with everything that needs to be dealt with from what I have received in the past twenty four hours.

The good news is my world hasn’t fallen apart. Even better news is that I am finding some tangible benefits in limiting my access to this important part of our modern communication.

Below is a list of five benefits that I have noticed since getting my email habit under control:

1. I spend more time on focussed activities.

One of the key issues about feeding my addiction was that it needed gratification several times an hour. My life was consumed by clicking from whatever I was doing to seeing what had arrived in my inbox. At one point I was receiving at least 60 emails an hour. The constant alert of a new arrival left me in a state of permanent distraction.

Focus is all about maintaining a sustained effort. This was not possible in my constant state of distraction. The result was that my productivity was at an all time low. Even though I was engaged in activity the whole time rarely was it actually getting the jobs done that needed to get done.

Nowadays I can sit down and write a 2000 word post in one sitting. I don’t find my attention wandering back to the inbox because I know that can wait till 3.00 pm this afternoon. This type of focus is required for some of the larger tasks that I need to attend to.

2. I no longer need instant gratification of opening the next email.

My system went into withdrawal for a period of time. I remember the empty feeling after I first shut off notifications on my mobile phone. This was the complete turning off not just putting things on silent. I think that quite mode’s vibration even more torture because you know something has arrived but you have to wait till you can check without being noticed. The instant gratification is delayed.

I am discovering that I am able to wait and appreciate the reward that comes from consistently applying myself in extended bursts. What is emerging is far more gratifying than the quick injection of dopamine that my body had become used to. According to Psychology.org the desire for instant gratification comes from a desire for dopamine. Researcher Kent Berridge writes,

“These two systems, the “wanting” (dopamine) and the “liking” (opioid) are complementary. The wanting system propels you to action and the liking system makes you feel satisfied and therefore pause your seeking. If your seeking isn’t turned off at least for a little while, then you start to run in an endless loop. The dopamine system is stronger than the opioid system. You tend to seek more than you are satisfied. Evolution again — seeking is more likely to keep you alive than sitting around in a satisfied stupor.”

I was a victim to an endless search for those chemicals that I find most gratifying. I have learned to replace these short term bursts of pleasure with the satisfaction of committing to a task and seeing it to completion.

3. I can take time out without being anxious

Weekends are mine again. I can take time out to refresh and relax. Usually when the time comes to return to work I am able to do this enthusiastically. I think that this is because my creative store is replenished and waiting to do something.

A settled restlessness

A tightening surge rises from within,
Uncertainty, fearfully, remembering,
Breaks the imagined calm,
Too much, too fast, too soon,
Restlessness breaks in on every task.

Serenity is imagined from my soul’s mind,
Hopefully, trusting, relearning,
Reality is almost in sight,
Rest, slow down, wait,
A settling transforms whatever comes today.

I wrote this poem as I was considering my anxious state that drove me to an incessant email checking. Rest is such a welcome friend but it required a more settled approach to my life. I needed to accept whatever came that day and learn again how to prioritise. In my anxiousness everything felt urgent and important. This became overwhelming to the point of damaging my health.

Each day I know how my day will start. I am a morning person so I don’t want to waste my creative energy answering email. Nowadays I dedicate that most productive time to doing my most creative work. Rather than being anxious I tend to look forward to the tasks that lay ahead for me on any day.

4. I sleep better at night

One of the things that I used to dread was going to bed because of the anticipation of a mass of emails to wade through the next morning. Often I would be checking emails till late at night to try to cut down on the number of emails that would await me in the morning.

Going to sleep is now a welcome part of my daily rhythm. I am thankful that I will wake rested to a new day that has new possibilities ahead. The half settled sleep of worry that I used to have when I went to sleep concerned about what message may arrive during the night is becoming a distant memory. If I do wake I no longer check what’s come in on my mobile phone hoping that my wife doesn’t catch me in the act.

5. I am not constantly distracted.

I was constantly distracted by my inflow of emails. A side effect was that I found it very difficult to delete anything in case it may be important sometime in the future. What happened was that with too much information coming to me I had no time to develop a filter to know what was important and what could be discarded. This overload of information left me constantly distracted.

Our obsession with what may be contained in the latest email that we receive is an indulgence that we can’t afford. Our minds are becoming bloated with information. The fear that something important may be missed is rarely realised.

Alain de Botton says that we need to have periods of fasting from all of this is we are ever going to be able to concentrate. My email checking routine allows space from the self imposed expectation of needing to respond instantly to something that more often than not can wait.

Three key strategies that helped me:

  1. I turned off notifications on the mobile phone – That constant ping that tells you something has arrived is not a part of my life. My advice is to not even play with the idea that you can get away with silent so no one knows about your addiction. This is only fooling yourself.
  2. I started by unplugging for a weekend – It’s always good to start with small victories. The weekend is a good starting point to begin disciplining a chronic email habit.
  3. I ruthlessly unsubscribe – Companies are constantly trying to get email addresses so that they can get their email message to you. Sometimes you need to supply your email address but the law is they need to have an unsubscribe function. Use it ruthlessly. They rarely will have information you need in a mass email. If you do need information you can always go back to that company’s website. I used to get close to 100 emails a day. Now I can get less than 20 emails for the whole day. Unsubscribe!

A reflection on Psalm 39

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39

Soon I will return to my source,
I will not revisit this place,
Each fleeting breath is never repeated,
My voice a brief cry in humanity’s babel,
Even when I shout loudly,
My cry is soon forgotten,
Heard for a brief moment ,
Then lost in the crowd’s roar.
I will only speak once to this world,
What will be said about me?

For too long I was silent,
When I watched the pain caused,
By Desire,
I left it alone,
But, it has to stop,
I need to find the Love words,
That transform truth into loving actions,
My soul stirred by knowing the time is, now!
Its constant restlessness, my sleeplessness nights.
Learning to listen to God’s Voice,
Giving me the words to say,
As I look Desire in the face.

In my brief encounter with life,
I trust in God,
The wounds caused by Desire,
When I couldn’t say anything in my defence,
A daily vicious onslaught of word blows,
I cowered,
Each painful lash a reminder of my failures,
Words upon words, lash on lash,
Salted by contempt’s glare.

My lesson is learned,
Eternity is a waiting breath,
My weeping heart,
Will be transformed to a smile,
As I listen to Eternity’s Voice,
Sometimes a whisper of hope,
Then loving laughter,
Always assuring me that I am His beloved.

A reflection on Psalm 38

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38

My deepest sadness cannot stop me loving God,
I woke this morning sobbing,
As I considered the pain of selfishness,
Deep woundings lacerating hearts.
Emptying souls, draining life,
My plans are useless,
They cannot be trusted,
They are made then you change them,
I am tired Lord, You need to do something,
Please hear the voice of your child today.

I know that I am never far from sin,
I am the least to complain,
But, God why don’t you stand up for your children?
Why do you allow wrong to flourish,
It seems to be always winning,
While your dear children are lost in in a pit of hate,
When will this ever stop?

Nice words cannot cover up what is done,
Love becomes the enemy,
Of those who are deaf to God’s Voice.

I hear the voice of hatred daily,
I see the pain in people’s eyes,
I know its sleepless echo,
I feel its gloating tone,
It makes no sense,
Yet it’s the choice that is made.

In the midst of all this confusion,
I look to my Father,
He listens to my weeping and sobbing,
I know he has it worked out,
Justice is too slow in coming,
But, it won’t be delayed,
Come Lord today,
Lover of the brokenhearted.

A reflection on Psalm 28

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28

Truth will lay our hearts bare,
Evil intentions cloaked in kindness,
Will not be tolerated any more,
Masquerading lies as truth,
Clever words manipulated to destroy,
Are all headed to a fire called Justice.

Strength comes from doing what is right,
Tolerance for vindictiveness is zero.
Love stands up for the broken hearted,
It knows when enough is enough.

From my weakness I have learned to trust only God,
This becomes my strength,
It will leave the vindictive cowards full of shame,
My daily praise will be their disgrace,
Their lies will lead them to despair,
Silence is no longer possible,
Because God’s truth cannot be contained.

My daily praise comes from love filled heart,
I delight every morning in God’s words,
It gives me strength to face the haters,
To love them but to trust God,
My reward is a good night’s sleep,
Blessings that mount up each day,
Hope that is filled by Eternity.

A reflection on Psalm 27

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27

I cowered under a relentless stream of hate,
Every day new attacks were planned,
My hater sought to destroy my hope,
He would allow no glimmer of joy in my life,
Whenever it appeared he would try to snuff it out,
He wielded destructive power with murderous intent,
Selfishness taken to its limits.

Now, the great reversal has begun,
My life is completely turned around,
I am more prosperous than before,
Daily I celebrate blessing after blessing,
I hold my head high when I see my hater,
His lies are now his shame,
My life lived in constant wonder of God’s justice.

Each morning when I turn my eyes to God,
I listen to his voice and hear him speak to me,
My heart’s desire is filled to the brim,
I gaze on love unleashed – holding nothing back,
Life is full of wonder at how he protected me,
When my hater wanted me dead.

I cried out, “Help!”,
And, Justice intervened,
Contempt was disarmed,
The lies are called stupidity,
Arrogance reduced to shame,
False accusations that no one believes.

Loneliness is the dark place,
Where the hater is believed,
But, I live a completely satisfied life,
With new opportunities emerging each day,
My heart beating with truth,
With a daily life giving rhythm,
My hope is found in listening,
To the truth that beats in perfect time,
Justice and humanity sharing life’s rhythm,
Eternity’s blessings now belong to me.

A reflection on Psalm 23

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23

My life was a discordant cacophony,
My head a jumble of sounds,
Clattering in my thoughts,
A constant deafening noise,
Accusing me of failure,
Words seeking to drown out hope,
That left me wanting to die.

Then I came to the end of my strength,
I cried out enough,
I can’t go on,
Help me.

Love turned his face to me,
He took my hand,
Leading me to a place of rest,
I stopped,
I listened to the sounds of rest,
Its beautiful melody,
Beating in time with my heart’s rhythm.

The noise receded into the background,
Its harsh accusations seen as lies,
Now my life beats in time,
With Eternity’s rhythm,
A melody of endless love.

A reflection on Psalm 104

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104

In everything beautiful around me,
I find God’s hand at work,
From the very core of who I am,
I know that everything should praise you,
How good is life when order is found,
God first in everything that I do.

Every moment lived I can see God’s imagination,
Working with his creative genius,
Knowing exactly how everything should fit,
Amazement is my daily response to new discoveries.

God’s creativity is my life’s source,
I depend on him for my daily life,
My source and my destiny is found with God,
I can’t stop wanting to be near him,
Like a lost friend who is brought close,
God continually welcomes me with a huge hug,
I am safe again in his presence,
God is the centre of my conversations,
It’s my eternal desire to put him first,
Made possible because of Love’s desire for me to belong.

A reflection on Psalm 103

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103

I love the feeling when –
Every part of me feels God’s presence,
Where I know in my gut,
That God hasn’t held back love,
I can feel his praise breaking out into life,
An unabashed expression of hope in me.

My dear enemy tried to gloat,
He spewed out his barbed words,
I was treated like a nobody,
Worthless to any of his plans,
Friendship discarded in an instant,
Trod over in his effort for selfish gains.

Of course I am not faultless,
Forgiveness was my daily plea to God,
I counted up a mountain of my failures,
God’s heart was forgetful of my sins,
But remembering always to love,
He took me from daily hate to constant kindness,
I am centred in his love forever.

Everywhere I go now there is praise,
Praise from the heavens,
Praise from my loyal friends,
Praise from deep within me,
Praise that will never stop.

A Reflection on Psalm 102

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102

Here I am Lord my soul deeply troubled again,
Please don’t wait too long to respond to me,
I am losing sleep because of my worries,
Thinking about the ways my enemy attacks me.

This morning I feel like I am left with nothing,
Close friends choose to act selfishly,
I search for your people Lord,
Who will put you first no matter the cost,
Loyalty won’t be an empty word,
But, a committed relationship of ongoing love.

Even now as I count my losses,
I know that you are the one who holds power,
We should listen to you first,
Instead of making our own foolish plans,
Always being swayed by the words of others,
Loyalty’s price must be paid to receive its reward.

My view is to seek eternity’s horizon,
I will trust God to care for his children,
My cry for help won’t go unheard,
God will act on it and is declaring his way,
Listen child, listen,
Make sure that you keep walking his way.

Re-imagining heroism – A post for those who don’t always feel brave

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Definition of Coward

“one who shows disgraceful fear or timidity”

Our family recently climbed a mountain that is close to our home. It’s not Everest but it does require a bit of climbing up some of the rock faces. The level of difficulty would be classed as very easy but it is a reasonable climb with a magnificent view at the end.

My eldest son doesn’t like heights. From some people’s perspective it might seem that his fear is unreasonable and irrational because sometimes it’s quite limiting for him. This last time as we climbed this mountain I watched him carefully at one point as we climbed up one of the rock faces. I could see his fear and uncertainty as he took each cautious step forward.

When we got to the top I could see his visible relief that he had made it. I made sure we had the time for a quiet moment together and I told him how proud I was that he had made it. My observation was that he didn’t allow his fear to stop him from doing what needed to be done. His fear was real and palpable yet he didn’t allow it to stop him from climbing that mountain.

Fear is a part of everyone’s life. Unreasonable fear can create all sorts of anxiety that if left unchecked can leave us paralysed. I love the words from one of Jesus’ sermons that spoke words of comfort for those who are seeking courage and comfort.” How happy are those who know sorrow.” This is the person who has pushed this world to its limits and recognised its disappointments. The paradox of our humanity is expressed in the contrast between happy and sorrow. Normally you wouldn’t expect them to be in the same sentence.

“How happy are those who know what sorrow means for they will be given courage and comfort! “
J B Phillips

Happiness comes when the limitations of our world are owned honestly, and we understand that relationships will fall short of expectations, material benefits can come and go and prestige can be a fleeting experience. When this is realised and we become vulnerable we are prepared to face our real fears, the ones that will take us to our source.

For many people this is the step that they don’t want to take. As David Whyte says in his poem, “Start Close In”, this is the first step, the step that we don’t want to take. I wrote give me the coward to seek to distinguish from the self declared hero to the person that has recognised his fears, and knows that he is the coward. From this recognition comes the capacity to demonstrate courage in the face of adversity.

The passage from Matthew’s gospel that I quoted earlier is alluding to those people who have started close in, they will know their sorrow, but then out of their sorrow those people get the truest idea of what love looks like. In my poem it’s not the hero who really knows love, they are caught up in their heroic deeds and are forgetful of courage’s testing by love.

In, “Give me the coward”, I chose the word coward because it’s that person who knows the unreasonableness of who they are and feel the deep pain of the tragic gap of who we desire to be and what we know we are. That person is the one that has learned the deep sorrow that comes from life and all of its disappointments. They have felt the fear that comes from when their world spins totally out of control. But, this is the persona who will know happiness. Courage emerges from facing their sorrows and responding in love and kindness. The coward has the more opportunity to be a hero than the person trapped in a self declared sense of grandeur.

Give me the coward

The measure of a man is not in his grandest thoughts,
The self deluded picture of a courageous act,
Reality brings all actions together,
Truth explores love’s result
Courage sifted by love,
Nothing left,
Coward.

Give me the coward who can sob about his weakness,
Who knows there are other things to cry about,
He can gaze into the weariness of sadness,
Eyes feeling the glare of judgement,
The delusions of control,
Knowing lies,
Hero.

The best human stories are redemptive stories. They are the one’s where our biggest failures are transformed into a redeeming triumph. These are the heart stories that we yearn for because such stories provide all of us with hope. Give me the coward sought to be such a story. It seeks to explore the nature of true courage and develop a deeper understanding of each person’s possibility for redemption.

A Reflection on Psalm 101

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101

I wonder is there is any loyalty left,
I seek to be loyal but am disappointed,
Even close friends quickly leave for better things,
Some days my call to love feels too lonely,
I want to wallow in selfishness,
My choice is to remain focussed on God.

God asks me to live with complete honesty,
Bitter jibes will be bounce off me,
Those who continue will confront love,
Hate whisperers will not be tolerated,
They seek to divide and bring dishonour to God.

I will earnestly seek God’s truth,
Untrustworthy people will not remain in my life,
I will seek out sincerity and encourage it,
Vigilance against contempt’s blatant lies is needed,
If the Lord’s house is to flourish.

Four signs that indicate you are emerging from burnout

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1. Creativity re-emerges

Truth’s daily task

Truth is not clinging to a failed understanding,
Truth is the soul’s daily work,
The creative heart work of the true human.

Another line in this poem that I wrote was that “truth lived brings laughter and tears”. When in the midst of my burnout there wasn’t much laughter, tears were the more common expression of my state of being. Creativity requires both to be present in our life. The unhealthy imbalance was very evident in my daily lament about my lack of value to anyone.

James Altucher in his book, “Choose Yourself” recommends that we write down ten ideas a day. I would normally say such a task is too easy but my idea well was completely dry during this time.

Creativity re-emerging showed itself in a growing confidence to try something new. Each day as I took the next faltering step forward I was able to move to a new understanding of myself as a person. The old ways of seeing myself were lost in a finding of a new truth that touched the very core of my soul.

Psalm 85

When love and faithfulness collided with my life,
The sparks shot to the heavens,
The light shower showed me the way forward,
The paralysis of despair healed completely…

I used the word paralysis to refer to the despairing state that I found myself in during my experience of burnout. The discovery of those who could meet me with love and faithfulness in the moments of darkness encouraged the smallest sparks of creativity that they saw in me and this allowed light to emerge on the next step forward. Being able to work creatively and to then have the confidence to share my work with a community that expressed love and faithfulness was a very clear sign that I was beginning to rediscover a balance in my life.

2. Sleep refreshes

One of the clearest indicators of my state of being when in the midst of burnout was a poor sleep rhythm. Even when I did sleep it never felt like I woke refreshed. There were times when I questioned if I would ever have a proper night’s sleep again. I felt like I lived in a state of perpetual tiredness. Being able to have a good night’s sleep was a welcome relief that was a clear indicator that something was beginning to shift in me.

A reflection on Psalm 112

My heart’s deepest gladness has been found,
Living in the centre of God’s intention,
I sleep peacefully each night,
I dream of hope and belonging…

For me the tiredness hung around for a long time. I am normally a quite active person who approaches life with enthusiasm. My preferred rhythm is to wake early and it’s in that time that I can be quite creative. When I continually was waking up feeling tired there was little creativity left in me.

As I emerged from my continual tiredness I started looking forward to the mornings again. As creativity emerged I began looking forward to waking up so that I could engage in the creative activity of my work. Sleep was welcomed because it was a restful sleep that came from resolving some of the tension that I felt had emerged in understanding my sense of vocation and my response to that call.

3. It doesn’t have to be about me

At the height of my burnout my conversation centred around me. Sometimes when I was saying the words about me I felt tired of hearing myself talk. Some good friends stayed with me during this period and continued to listen and I am thankful that they were able to do this.

A reflection on Psalm 104

Like a lost friend who is brought close,
Creation continually welcomes me with a huge hug,
I am safe again in his presence,
His Voice the centre of my conversations….

One of my burnout symptoms was a complete retreat into myself. This was very difficult with a wife and four children who were very used to me be very present in our family life. I still managed to be very self focussed in my world of perpetual distraction. Even when I was with them I was never really there. I would be looking at them but thinking about a thousand things that could be going wrong, what I needed to do yet in that day, what mistakes I had made that day and a constant self talk of failure. There wasn’t much room in my head to fit anyone else.

My centre had become all about me and this was creating fatal wounds in my life. Learning to discover other important voices that spoke into my life helped me to re-find my centre. I loved the growing sense of belonging that brought with it a healing voice into my life. The words that emerged brought a new understanding of my own voice that could transcend my immediate problems.

4. Confidence returns

So many of us let others determine what we are worth. It’s our duty to make that determination ourselves.”
Jonathan Goldsmith

Dr Travis Bradberry in article in Forbes Magazine recently that quoted research from the University of California in San Francisco that showed the more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. He also says that before we say “no” we need to have worked out what we are saying yes to.

Writing Psalm 203 was about me re-finding my centre in work by first learning to say yes to God.

My first word today is to say, “No”,
To a thousand different questions,
That seek to bring complexity,
To what is the simple choice,
Of first saying yes to God.

Being able to say no to someone means that there is something bigger at play in life. I have learned once again to find a bigger purpose in my life than some of the more material goals that dominated my life during my period of burnout. This gives more confidence to be able to make choices and to then live with those choices.

I notice myself saying no more and more lately. Sometimes saying no is often about choosing between good and best, this choice can be difficult especially when the creative juices are flowing and there are so many options to explore. But, saying no helps focus creativity and beds it into more fertile soil that is ultimately more productive.

No can sometimes bring with it some immediate pain but this is sometimes better than the dull ache of a half hearted yes. No, changes the terms of of a relationship because it makes the reality or impossibility of a situation clearer. Burnout can feel like living in a fog but with finding the capacity to say no confidently the fog recedes to give a clearer picture of reality.

A reflection on Psalm 100

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100

Today my first call is to praise,
Wherever I look I find more to be thankful for,
I only have to open my eyes to God’s abundance,
I won’t live in the word of regrets with God as my Saviour.

This morning I entered a holy place with my God,
I found only praise here,
Praise and thankfulness are worship’s main tasks,
I love my God’s faithful love,
Human loyalty is fickle but God’s love is forever.

A reflection on Psalm 99

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99

Arrogance shakes his puny fist at Truth,
He always prefers his own lies,
God’s reality is evident everywhere,
Under him everything is in it’s right place,
Disruption begins from prides voice,
That seeks to control fate,
A task that ends in hopeless despair.

I love seeking what is good,
This is God’s first love,
It allows truth to be heard,
While arrogance seeks only for his own good,
With no concern for the wounds inflicted,
But, God’s voice will not be silenced for long,
His truth is waiting to be shouted to the earth.

God’s truth became my truth,
When I heard his words of forgiveness,
They doused arrogance’s hate words,
The daily put downs that came from his pride,
Arrogance was pushed to the back,
His pitiful jibes bouncing off love’s response,
I am eternally thankful to God’s call to me,
That brought truth’s voice into my life.

A Reflection on Psalm 114

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114

My world was in complete disarray,
Life was a dead end of hopelessness,
My closest friend deserted me,
Escape seemed impossible,
My back was to the wall,
Desperation was my daily sob.

God’s powerful grace pushed back,
Out of desperation flowed hope,
True friends flocked around me,
The dead end was now opportunity,
Opening into a plethora of options,
Grace is my constant experience.

A Reflection on Psalm 112

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112

My heart’s deepest gladness has been found,
Living in the center of God’s intention,
I sleep peacefully each night,
I dream of hope and belonging,
Knowing that my broken heart,
Shows only a deep love for those who forgot,
That God’s intention is for love’s expression,
Each of humanity’s specks that draws breath,
Can know and live with passion.

Arrogance hates my contentment,
Every one of my satisfactions,
Is a painful jab at his cruel intentions,
Despair is his chosen path,
His life will end in sadness after sadness.
Anger will take him to a dead end,
Where contempt slowly breathes its last breath.

A Reflection On Psalm 98

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98

A new way has has emerged for me,
I have stopped living thoughtlessly,
Captive to hate no longer,
I am free to give and receive love,
Hate sought to destroy my life,
Now my life testifies to Love’s words,
That daily remind me of God’s presence.

Everywhere I look I can see God,
Creation shouts out God’s words,
It’s daily rhythm of waking and sleeping,
Reminders of God’s heart beat,
The source of my life evident to all,
Praise is the right response,
Hate seeks to bring down all that is good,
But, hate’s reward is coming soon,
When Love and hate face off,
Justice will be made clear to all.

Five Psalms For the Work Week

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David Whyte in his poem “What to remember when waking”, writes, “What you can plan is too small for you.”

I came to this series of Psalms holding the idea that what I plan may not be big enough as I sought to discover some new thoughts about the beauty of work. These first five Psalms had themes that sought to reveal that golden thread that lies in the ordinary, everyday worklife that we contribute to.

As I was writing these first five Psalms I was seeking to discover something of the “other”, because I think without the appreciation of what lies beyond my understanding there is little that we can do to know how our work is good, bad or indifferent. Without this external reference it degenerates into a twisted madness of unrequited effort that makes turning up each day to a job a fruitless quest for meaning in which we will be unable to find any sanity.

One of poetry’s gifts is that it doesn’t “tell” us what to think. It allows us to explore. In this series I have loved exploring my own understanding of creativity. I loved playing with ideas like God giving me a nod of approval and that my creativity is birthed from shared experience with God. These are threads that have run through my life and in more recent times have become more visible to me.

Much of the world’s true beauty is what has emerged from shadow. I have seen that my appreciation of beginning the day celebrating God’s gifts, or sleeping well each night come out of times when I didn’t wake up celebrating and I didn’t sleep so well at night. In these Psalms I have not dwelt on the shadows, I look forward with the original Psalmists for the day that it’s all set right. When my work and productiveness is always held in a beautiful tension with love and creativity.

Writing these psalms has helped me to peel back a few layers around the idea of work. As I have done so some fresh understandings have emerged for me that help me in my desire to make work an continuation of my connection to God. There is art and joy and playfulness that God designed as a part of work. Sometimes there will be other things that will seek to suffocate this light. Psalms are all about asking God to set it right and to make sure that the direction of my desire is towards that inner truth that is God’s gift to his creation.

Psalm 201 – The Gift of Work

My day begins celebrating God’s gifts,
He loves the way that I was formed,
I hear his daily nod of approval,
When my plans begin with prayer,
Listening to his desires,
Work becomes my daily offering,
Of creation’s gift of creativity.

Shared with my creator’s image,
Is the gift of my daily effort,
Creator’s gifts discovering human heart,
Transforming routine drudgery,
To daily moments of pleasure,
That seek the best of life’s fullness,
My craft found in my Creator,
As together we share each day.

Psalm 202 – In praise of work

I sleep well each night,
Waking to expectation,
Knowing my plans belong to God,
Starting with creation’s imagination,
Continuing through each human life,
Gifted to our world’s loving desire,
To seek what can be given,
To the one to whom we all belong.

Each creative act I perform,
Was given by creation’s loving impulse,
I know that work is created from love,
From which each step forward is born,
Love is what sheds light on understanding,
The gift given of human thought,
That searches out our deepest desires,
To transform my uncertainty,
To each task being a balm,
That calms our world’s aching soul.

Psalm 203 – Saying yes to God

The burden of always saying yes,
Led to a daily list of failures,
That mounted up in accusations,
Each day an unscalable mountain,
Yes, was turned to death words,
That led to condemnation,
Of the impossibility of seeking to please.

I discover by going where I need to be,
But, learning to take the time to slow,
To hear what is lost in the wind,
Slowing to feel on my neck,
The sweet breath of God’s whisper,
That holy call to stay and be true,
To learn to wait before I do.

My first word today is to say, “No”,
To a thousand different questions,
That seek to bring complexity,
To what is the simple choice,
Of first saying yes to God.

Psalm 204 – When things go wrong

A thousand pinpricks are certain to kill,
Just as certain as a bullet to the head,
Each day can mounts with frustration,
Passion slowly curls up to die,
Lost in the mass of failures,
Notched up in the daily diary account.

Joy’s slow death has it’s own smell,
The putrid stench of contempt’s gaze,
That stares from its lofty throne,
I am lost in what cannot be changed,
Unless something changes in me,
Broken down, deserted for green fields,
That yield a thousand times more.

But Joy’s heart was opened wide,
To begin to restore my broken heart,
What went wrong will be set right,
As hearts combine in loving embrace,
Celebrating the meagre gifts offered,
From which something beautiful unfolds,
Promises from God are always kept,
Setting things right in Creation’s economy.

Psalm 205 – The art of work

Every morning is painted by the sun’s rays,
Earth’s heartbeat wakens to dawn’s display,
The creator’s work commences with me,
As I begin my daily quest into discovery,
Of what God brings to my life today.

My first task is to open my heart,
With eyes that see beyond a touch,
Appreciating beauty in the everyday,
With open arms to give what is received,
Love’s transforming wonder in your child,
No accidental masterpiece is ever born,
From the beginning our work belongs.

I long to combine heart and call,
To learn to appreciate each gift,
Brought to all who are called to share,
The daily tasks that become our toil,
To join with the Creator’s creation,
In appreciation of what he begun,
Is now continued by my handiwork,
Transforming every drudgery,
Into my daily crafting of love.

A reflection on Psalm 94

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94

I am tired of waiting for justice,
Surrounded by the arrogant browbeater,
He talks constantly, promising everything,
Everything said is just lies that drown the truth,
A puffed up ego that talks about himself constantly,
His noise a constant harping in my ear,
He chooses words that seek to demean,
Questioning my motives and integrity,
When he is only seeking his own well being,
Put downs are the only way he can feel lifted up.

The destruction wielded by arrogance,
Is seen in the carnage left from his actions,
He only knows how to take from the poor,
While pretending to give gifts,
None of this escapes God’s attention,
Not one selfish act is ever forgotten,
Every put down recorded,
To make sure that God’s justice will be done.

When arrogance cannot be at the centre,
He shrinks in his own foolishness,
Futility become his reward,
For the chest beating self praise he gives,
Soon the inheritance of God’s children,
Will be arrogance’s daily irritation,
As he seeks to justify the pain,
Caused by his lies and venom.

God is not afraid of human arrogance,
None will escape his watchful eye,
Justice is waiting and will soon confront arrogance,
The pause is to ensure God’s perfect time,
That day will turn the tables completely,
Eternity’s breath bringing life,
While arrogance will soon meets its end,
Reward for those who know God’s voice,
Frightening justice for those who only heard their own.

I seek an open heart this morning Lord,
To the words that you have for me,
My shelter, from the barrage of hate,
That sought to end all hope.
Now I wake each day to Love’s first desire,
That seeks out to embrace each broken child,
To take all the pain given by selfish arrogance,
To bring me to your peace again.